Earlier on, I discussed technology and how it’s turned “nice to have” into “unless you have it, the thing won’t work”, such as the episode where Samsung fridges bricked because of a crappy “update”.
[brief 250,000-word rant deleted]
Now we’re always talking about appliances like fridges that last for yonks without breaking down, but I am reminded of one old stalwart that I used for (rough guess) about ten years before I got talked into something more “advanced” (to my everlasting regret).

Well, it wasn’t a fairy tale.
Take a bow, the venerable HP500 Deskjet:

I have no idea how many thousands of pages I printed using this old dot-matrix warhorse — remember, back then we couldn’t send any document of size through Teh Emailz, so we had to print stuff out and mail it (or hand-carry it) to the intended recipient’s office.
My memory is hazy after all these years — was it 2001 when I finally stopped using it? I know it was post Y2K, because I was assured that it would not be affected by Teh Y2K Disaster!!! and carried on relying on it until the panic passed). But honestly, I could probably count the number of printer jams on the fingers of two hands, no more.
Yeah, the quality wasn’t up to much. But let’s face it: how many times do you actually need photographic quality on your printer’s output anyway? (In my case, it would be “hardly ever”.)
I’m telling you, right now I would be perfectly content with that HP500, even though it has no BlooToof™ connection and I’d have to plug it into my laptop every time I wanted to print something… which would be about twice a month, tops.
Of course, it would need a different cable connector because there’s no room for a 36-pin plug on the Lenovo, but I’m sure some geek could slap one together for me in about half an hour. And I’m not sure that HP (or anyone else) even makes the ink cartridges anymore, either.
Whenever I think about the HP500, by the way, I’m reminded of this example of simple, rugged utility:
1969 VW Beetle

I’d probably be quite contented with this old thing too, even though like the HP500 it doesn’t have all the bells and whistles of Cursed Modernity™ either. OMG!!! No electric windows, no automatic transmission, no ECM, no power steering, no anti-lock brakes, no remote disabling, no spy system (ADR), no “lane assist” and no “parking camera” (okay, I wouldn’t mind the last one too much, but it would be a simple aftermarket addition).
What it does come with: simple and inexpensive maintenance, low fuel consumption and a full-size spare tire.
Translate the above into printer-speak: hardly any maintenance, low ink usage, plentiful and cheap cartridge supply and an as-needed cable plug. VW Beetle, meet HP500 Deskjet printer.
Go on, mock me I dare you.













