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Wrong 10

Books & Movies, Crime

Yeah I know, it’s another piece of A.I. garbage, masquerading as thoughtful critique, but this take on the 10 greatest heist movies gets it wrong.

To save you the time of watching the video, with its fake voice and faker conviction, here’s its list:

10 – Oceans 11 (no argument;  the first and best of the Oceans franchise, and far better than the original Rat Pack version)
9 – The Italian Job (with Michael Caine;  also no argument)
8 – Inception (nope;  it’s not a heist movie, but sci-fi)
7 – Rififi (no argument)
6 – Inside Man (no argument)
5 – The Sting (nope, it’s not a heist movie;  it’s a sting, just as the title suggests)
4 – Reservoir Dogs (nope, it’s not a heist, just as the “narrator” suggests)
3 – Heat (no argument)
2 – The Town (haven’t seen it yet, so no comment)
1 – Goodfellas (nope;  it’s not  even remotely a heist movie)

You see, there’s a framing problem, here.  The definition of a “heist” movie is that it’s about criminals stealing stuff from an institution, not from people.  It has to be about the actual robbery, in other words, and not about the aftermath (Reservoir Dogs) or just an aside to the plot (Goodfellas), or about robbing an individual (The Sting, Inception).  That’s not to say that the above are not good movies — they’re all absolutely brilliant — but they’re not about heists, according to my definition.

So if we delete the unqualified, it leaves four spots open on the list.  Here are my modest suggestions for inclusion, in chronological order:

The Lavender Hill Mob (1951, Alec Guinness)
Charley Varrick (1973, Walter Matthau)
Thief (1981, James Caan)
The Score (2001, Robert De Niro, Ed Norton)
Heist (2001, Gene Hackman)
…and we could add either or both of the Thomas Crown Affair movies, with absolutely no argument from me.  Even Snatch could conceivably be included, as it begins with arguably the funniest robbery ever filmed.

To be frank, though, heist (or “caper”) movies are not my favorite genre, so there may be others that are worthy but that I haven’t seen, so feel free to add your own suggestions in Comments.

Afterthought:  I suspect that not many have seen Jules Dassin’s Rififi, but I would earnestly recommend that you do so.  When the entire spectacular heist is filmed without dialogue or music, you have to know… so that poxy A.I. list got at least one thing right.

That Knife Thing

Guy Stuff, Tools

Following on from my post about the Swiss Army Champ multi-tool knife, Reader John DJ sends the following:

For 27 years I took the President’s scrip to run about the globe and inflict bad outcomes on disapproved peoples, places, and things. During that time I learned to appreciate multi-purpose tools. I have used a bunch of different ones. Leatherman brand demolition tool, Victorinox Climber, Farmer, Electrician, gov’t issue demo knife and cap crimper (both complete crap but kept for nostalgia), and a host of large bladed knives (Gerber, Puma, Al Mar, too many to recall).

All that is to say that the Victorinox offerings have the most utility. I really like the Farmer model with saw and a couple blades. It is basic and good enough. The Leatherman tools are too heavy and unwieldy for what they offer. Better to slip good needle nose pliers in a bag or pocket along with a Victorinox and get on with business.

Below is my current favorite. It recently replaces a similar version loaned out but not returned. It is issued to Fallschirmjaeger youngsters, friends from my youthful days at Fortress Bragg. A good knife and a St Michael’s medal are mandatory kit for every competent paratrooper.

Did I mention that I really like Victorinox pocket knives with Alox handles?

I have to say that I like the look of the above sweetie, although it lacks just a few post-SHTF features that I’d like to have.  But as an all-day utility knife?  Sign me up.

And thanks for the letter.  All such are always welcome.

Thursday Landscape

Travels

Boomershoot, Central Idaho 2004

The berm in the foreground is about 400 yards, the targets at the far end up the hill about 800 yards.

I see that the Boomershoot.org page is all screwed up.  I hope that everything’s okay over there.  Joe?

RFI: Arc Hacked

Bad News

I usually use the “https://archive.is/” link to get through to the silly paywalled newspaper articles at the Daily Mail, but the site appears to have been hacked by Russians or Serbians or others of the Cyrillic persuasion.

Does anyone have an alternate that does the same thing?

Compare And Contrast

Eco-Crap

If you’ve already read yesterday’s post (Never Mind The Waves) about switching offshore wind farm funding to oil and natgas, then read on.  If you haven’t, read that first, then this one.

Here’s what happens when you elect a government which supports rabid eco-freaks by giving them control of the rudder.  Here’s the background:

North Sea Giant Ready To Exploit UK’s Biggest Oil Field This Year

Sounds good, dunnit?  And then the sting:

Britain’s largest oil field could be producing thousands of barrels a day by the autumn if Ed Miliband approves the North Sea project.

Well, that didn’t take long did it?  Because Miliband is the all-time believer in the “Wind Is Going To Save Us” school of thought — in fact, he’s the fucking headmaster.

So, to sum up:  Britishland is sitting close to a gigantic oil and gas field — bigger than anything they’ve ever had before, and larger than anything in the North Sea — and all that has to happen is for Rubber Band to wave the starter’s flag.

Which he isn’t going to do, even if pressure is applied to him by a core  Socialist  Labour Party constituency:

The powerful Unite union added its voice to the clarion calls demanding the Energy Secretary change tack in the wake of a price spiral triggered by Donald Trump‘s war on Iran.

General Secretary Sharon Graham, who has cut funding for Labour in a row over party policy, said he should not ‘let go of one rope before having hold of another’.

‘We all know that whatever happens the UK will still need for oil and gas for decades to come and the war in Iran is just the latest reminder that when we rely on overseas production our energy security is at the mercy of global events,’ she said. This comes as the Conservatives are set to force a vote in the Commons demanding an end to the ‘sheer lunacy’ of a ban to reduce prices at the pump.

And here it is:

But facing MPs today, Mr Miliband suggested it was unimportant where the UK got its gas.

‘Gas is bought and sold on the international market so whether it comes from the North Sea or imported it is charged at the same price,’ he said.

He went on to praise the amount of money raised by a renewable energy action earlier this year, saying technology like wind turbines and solar panels were ‘homegrown power that we can rely on’. 

You have to marvel at the idiocy of a man who sticks to this insane policy, even when time and time again all his guff is proven to be demonstrably false — when the winds drop and the sun doesn’t shine, and areas of the country go dark and people shiver because there’s no power to provide them warmth, as happened just this past winter.

Miliband is quite literally going to bring the UK to its knees.

And at some point you have to ask yourself whether he’s doing it out of the ignorance of policy, or just out of spite.  Either way, the result is going to be the same.

He doesn’t just need to be kicked out of government;  he needs to be given a free ticket on Air Pinochet.

…and all the more ironic if he were to be ejected right over the Rosebank field.