I was sitting in a bar last night in Bath, trying out a pint or so of Bath’s local bitter (Gem; not too bad, but not 6X), when I became aware of loud young male voices, and lots of cursing, with what can only be called “violent language” — you know, “The next time I see him, I’m going to fuck him up”, that kind of thing.
I was only a little perturbed, because there were quite a few older women in the place, and they were visibly discomfited by both the volume and the language. Now ordinarily I would have got up and gone over to the lads and reminded them of their manners, and asked them to turn down both the volume and their fucking language because there were ladies in the house, but suddenly I realized that I was in the wrong, not them; and what was happening was the fault of modern society. Here’s why.
You see, young men are essentially wild animals, and when they’re in the company of other young men they become still more so — ’twas ever thus, and there will always be male posturing and bad behavior. Note the following little fracas between a group of adolescent male lions, rough-housing and doing essentially what the young men in the bar in Bath were doing.
Now according to the photographer, after a while they simmered down, and wandered away as though nothing had happened (which it hadn’t), and no doubt went off to kill a zebra or find a lioness to mate with — you know, guy stuff.
And this is why we need men-only bars.
Men-only bars provide an environment for young men to be themselves — i.e. to act like assholes — and basically blow off the adolescent testosterone steam building up behind their ears. It’s loud, and rude, and antisocial, but older men look at that, shrug and ignore it because they too were once young men and so they understand what’s happening: essentially, a harmless activity. Of course there may be the occasional fight, because that’s what young men do, and the only way to deal with it is for the older men to toss them out of the bar and let the young idiots finish it off where little or no damage will ensue.
But then came feminism, where men-only bars were regarded as Bastions Of Male Patriarchy or some such silliness, and bars were opened up to women, changing the dynamics of the social setting and denying to young men what was once an accepted outlet for adolescent behavior.
I’m not interested in arguments that “young men should learn to behave” — a typical female approach when they encounter a situation they don’t like, which is to change the rules thereof and by doing so, altering someone else’s behavior but not their own. The plain fact of the matter is that this will never change, and taking away a place where young men can misbehave simply means they’re going to do it elsewhere — e.g. frat houses in college — where there is no elder-male supervision. And we’ve all seen how that works out.
In the larger sense of things, this is also an argument for an all-male armed services — at least, the part at the sharp end — where the violent nature of young men can be channeled into a worthwhile activity like killing Commies, Nazis and other assorted filth — and I hate to say it, but adding G.I. Janes to the mix is going to make that worthwhile activity less efficient.
I am likewise unmoved by the whines of feministicals who want to get involved in male behavior — “Piss off and leave us alone,” is my typical response — and I really think that we as a society have become dysfunctional because of the enforced mixing of the sexes in areas outside of relationships and mating.
I don’t know how to reverse this foolishness, or if it’s even possible. But I’d like to see men-only bars and pubs reappear as a starting-point.
I share your thoughts Kim. Some of my most fun times were in the men only pubs of apartheid era South Africa, with drinking games, bawdy rugby songs, darts, and general camaraderie, and in seven months, never saw a fight.
OTOH, in my college and post-college youth in the states, I saw a few too many brutally violent fights followed up by ambulances in American coed bars, the worst of them always started over a woman who was present.
I suspect it’s even worse than that.
Adding women to the mix changes the timber of the male-on-male posturing, from mere posturing to a “winner gets laid” contest (or at least winner has a chance to get laid, which for young men amounts to the same thing). Which means things just got MUCH more serious, with more possibility of someone getting hurt.
Secondly, when women (especially feminists) invade a once male-dominated domain, they do one of two things, they either try to change the males so they behave (as you mention above) or they try to fit in and keep up. Which, as has been noted any number of times here and elsewhere, they generally lack the stature, muscle mass, and testosterone to do.
As always, I have an example. Some years ago in my almost-youth (I might have been 30, but not much more, and perhaps less) I encountered a young lady (both terms used loosely) who tried to impress me with her martial-arts prowess, she’d taken a few kick-boxing classes and considered herself a major bad-ass. For those who don’t know, most women’s kick-boxing classes are really aerobics with boxing gloves and punching bags. She decided to throw a punch in my direction, and I caught her hand like a baseball, suddenly enough that the force of her punch drove HER backward a step. Allow me to point out that I had at least a hundred pounds advantage on her. I could see by the look in her eyes that she realized she’d just made a tactical, and perhaps strategic mistake in judgement because she understood that I, who had still not released her hand, could pound her to a pulp and the only thing that could stop me would be my own good nature and the possible interference of others. Truly a moment of clarity on her part.
Having been taught by my father to be a gentleman even if it killed me, because if it didn’t he would, I released her and went back to my beer. I should have charged her for the lesson she got that night. Assuming she actually learned it and didn’t try the same stunt on someone who wasn’t as good natured as I am and who would have sent her to the local Emergency Room.
Well Done…..and, you should have charged her for the Lesson of Life – you only cherish things you pay for.
Yes, Yes, and Yes!
Let the Ladies do their thing where they wish without any Male interruptions, and allow us the same privilege of having an environment absent Estrogen.
There are enough “co-ed” areas to satisfy those that demand them.
Exactly! We really need more women only places. I can see that there need to be men only places restored.
I would use the term men loosely as I don’t think that term should be applied to yutes. You need some miles to earn the term man.
But that is something else.
The foolishness occurs in conditions of plenty, of material abundance, such that people forget that the normal condition of everyday life throughout history, in most times and places, is much harsher than the typical feminist is capable of imagining. Modern feminists could only exist in the temporary (and it is only temporary) hothouse which is modern Western society.
We are able to pretend that men and women are interchangeable, but not for much longer.
I just hate it when you sugar-coat it.
Hmpppfffff.
A couple points Kim: back in the day when men could be men the fights were of a much different nature. The combatants squared off in the parking lot, somebody got his ass kicked and that was that for that. Nowadays – somebody gets his ass kicked in the bar – and the war starts out in the parking lot with chains, cudgels and tire irons… especially when vibrants are thrown into the mix. (Hey – I’m just calling ’em as I see ’em, and when ethnics are involved these fights get really nasty really fast).
The other point is this – maybe it’s just my imagination but I am seeing a lot more aggressive behaviour in your young women too. Many of them can use profanity better than your average angry Marine, and the fatties and fish wives are the worst.
I’m not so sure that a men’s bar or gentleman’s club would be the answer; I think our problems are much deeper than that.
Looking at your first para reminded me of a matter some years ago. A little bit of internecine warfare at a sawmill, and reports to management etc. I phoned a friend for help, knowing he had been in H.R. in the same type of business. I sanitised the tale, but in short time he said “So this happened at the Nang*** veneer Mill”. “how do you know that”? “Because you are describing a women’s fight- they go on and on, and report things to managers, and white-ant. Men just have a dust-up and get it over and done with”. Something I learnt: and it seems we readers of KDT remember that is how it used to be.
But now that men are becoming pussified, the fights are different!
Old days, over 55 years ago, I got into an argument with a guy at a football game and the other guy said I will meet you at the high school, close by after the game. I was in the band, put my saxophone up in the band room and stepped out and there he was with about 50 kids waiting to watch us fight so we did. I got in a few real good licks then he landed a good one on my face and broke my nose, we wrestled and I ended up whacking my head on the sidewalk and decided that the fight was over and I lost. We got up and shook hands and went our way and remained friends because that’s what guys do.
Monday morning the band director took me aside and said he wasn’t going to ask me if I was in a fight because I still had a slight black eye. He told me the principal chewed him out because the superintendent had chewed out the principal because he had heard about it and they all wanted me to never do that again on school grounds and that was it. Message received.
“young men should learn to behave”
Directly connected to the “It doesn’t matter WHAT I do, teach men not to rape!” idiocy. Point out that A: we already do that, and B: it’s the dirtbags who don’t listen who she has to worry about and you hear the “Rape culture! You don’t care about Womyn!” shit. Over and over.
Knew someone once who insisted on going to places where she had no business, at times she REALLY had no business being there, “Because I should be able to go anywhere I want, any time I want!” One night she bitched about how a couple of the local area cops kept stopping her and informing her she really ought not be there and she wondered why?
“Because they’re trying to keep you from getting your dumb ass killed.”
“Well, maybe, BUT-”
I gave up.
Against stupidity the gods themselves struggle in vain.
This person is what makes Evolution a working proposition, you Science-hater you!!!!eleventy!!!
As the werewolf would say, it’s time to thin the herd.
Aaaaannnnd, this is why I keep coming back to read.
You’ve taken a simple observation and turned it into a thoughtful commentary on today’s society.