She: Why the hell do men get so excited by the thought of women wearing leather?
He: It reminds us of that new car smell.
Also:
She: Does this outfit make my ass look fat?
He: Do you want to know the truth?
She: Yes.
He: You’re sure you want to know the truth?
She: YES!
He: I’m sleeping with your sister.
And one for the ladies:
How do you make your wife go crazy during sex?
Call her while you’re doing your secretary.
Ever heard of Rodeo Sex?
Grab her hair while drilling from behind & tell her: this is how your sister likes it.
Winner if you can hold on over 30 seconds.
My old girlfriend told me I’d never meet another woman like her. I thanked her for the well-wishers.
And for the ladies:
On the wedding night a woman says “Honey, what’s a penis?”. When he shows her she says “Oh, same as a cock, only smaller”
Timing! I just rediscivered Alan King’s classic “Survived by his wife” routine, on youtube.