…because we’ve already explored the five worst things to hear after sex:
- “Sorry, I guess my diarrhea hasn’t finished yet”
- “Can you go a little deeper?”
- “I think you’re making my genital warts bleed”
- “I wish I was anywhere else but here right now”
- “When I said you were tighter than a 10-year-old, that was supposed to be a compliment.”
Your suggestions in Comments. If they were actually said to you (e.g. the penultimate one, in my case), so much the better.
You’re not as big as your father.
Edit: Actually, I just thought of one that’s worse: “You’re not as big as MY father.”
Whups, another edit: “You’re not as big as OUR father.”
Would you hand me my phone?
Is it in yet?
Followed by, i’m sure, “Are you done yet?”
“Get offa me, Uncle Jimmy — you’re crushin’ mah cigarettes.”
Help me find my keys and we’ll drive out.
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.
*giggle* How old did I tell you I was?
* Good, that finally popped
* Wait, I have to put my leg back on
* It feels so good to not be the only one with it
* Ooh, I’m getting so dry
* Hi Hillary! Join in!
“Shit, my husband’s home early!”
That made me shrivel up pretty quick.
I did find him in Facebook and tell him he was married to a slut, at least.
Wrong hole!
https://youtu.be/UVZVsrR0P1I
https://youtu.be/UVZVsrR0P1I
Does this hanky smell like chloroform?
This ceiling needs a paintjob. I’m glad I don’t have to live here.
In California: “No, No, No” or “I withdraw my consent”