Ranked in ascending order of awfulness:
- CD box set of “Frank Sinatra: The Vegas Years”
- $100 gift card for Crabtree & Evelyn
- DVD box set of Girls
- “No Meat, Ever: A Vegan Cookbook”
- Divorce papers
Your own suggestions in Comments. Bonus points if you’ve ever actually received any of them.
The answer is always “socks.”
Or Depends.
What does an 80 year old woman’s pussy smell like? Depends.
Kim, I got the last one in 1982, served on me by one of the Maids of Honor in our wedding of 13 years prior; no wonder I was single for 17 years before my now wife of 17 years……………. (remember, the rings came from SA)
Hmm. Reaction to divorce papers could range from Roy Clark’s “Thank God and Greyhound you’re gone” to Rev. King’s “Free at last!”. I’m also fond of ‘Ol Blue Eyes version of “Fly Me to the Moon”. And the vegan cookbook might be put to use starting the BBQ.
“I’m also fond of ‘Ol Blue Eyes version of ‘Fly Me to the Moon’.”
Thank you for putting me off my dinner.
You’re welcome. I’ll be here all week. I also like Hickory Farms Sweet-hot mustard.
Hickory Farms deluxe gift basket.
[shudder]
-Pink bunny pajamas
-Dollar store toolkits- those useless pot metal “handy” things that look like tools, and usually involve gimmick gizmos of some sort.
-Flavored coffee
-The expanded edition DVD of the “Ghostbusters” remake
-Handicrafts made by a beloved relative who possess neither manual skill or artistic taste.
A nice boxed set of Craftsman drill bits from my parents – when I didn’t own a drill. My solution to that problem was to go out and buy a drill which I still own 50 years later.
A very cheap “survival” knife with a hollow handle that held some fish hooks, strike nowhere matches, and rusty safety pins. The only knife I’ve ever owned that became dull when it came in contact with air. Another one from my parents back in the day. My Dad, may God rest his soul, never did understand the difference between good steel and melted down Old Milwaukee beer cans.
A two piece GI shovel that allegedly threaded together. Unfortunately the threads in the handle were so badly cut that I never could get the shovel to work. That one was from the wife.
A bottle of really bad home made dandelion wine from one of my Mother Earth News reading friends. When I was young and foolish I’d drink anything that poured, but that wine was only useful as paint remover.
A guy I know has this sad story:
On Christmas Day his wife of about 10 years left him and their two boys for another man.
Merry Fuckin’ Christmas to you, too, bitch!
A case of Bud Light
“What Happened” by Hillary Clinton
Kathy Griffin sex doll….
Not for Christmas, but for my 30th birthday party, my ex told me she didn’t love me, thought she hated me, and wanted a divorce. But if I wanted, we could try to work it out. Uh, no, darlin, I guess there is no point. That was my first mistake. I should have just killed her right there. My second mistake was using the same lawyer, since we had nothing of value, a woman lawyer, Mistake number three. I should have killed both of them, mistake number four. Are we noticing a trend anywhere? I later took my divorce papers to a different lawyer, he read them and said, ” Jesus Christ , you sure got screwed, but there is nothing I can do about it.”. But now, after all these years later, my kids know exactly what the score is, and that I never talked the ex down, that she talked me down, and that I did the best I could for them. So my relationship with my kids is excellent, while theirs with their mom is so so. I don’t feel happy about that part, but I do feel grateful about my relationship with my kids. It was worth it. And I suggest that is the right way to go about it, no matter how much anger you might have towards you ex. In the end, you will come out much better, and your kids will be the ones who will win, and that is all that matters.