1) “Unexploded World War II bombs hamper efforts to battle massive wildfires rampaging through a German forest” — don’t care; they started it.
2) “Mummified body found in a hoarder’s home ‘belonged to a cat burglar who was executed on the spot after being caught in the act’ ” — I have an alibi. (Oh, sure: like you’ve never thought about doing it.)
3) “Wednesday’s Cascadia Quake A Wake-Up Call For Pacific Northwest: Feared Mammoth 9.0+ Quake A Matter Of When, Not If” — can’t wait.
4) “The eurozone is destined to fail.” — can’t wait, Part II.
5) “State Department is blocking economic aid slated for the Palestinians and is sending it somewhere else!” — about time, too. God-Emperor Trump continues to wow conservatives, this time by shafting those Arab assholes — who don’t deserve anything from us considering their past, present and future behavior.
And your “feelgood” story of the day:
6) “Clueless couple struggled to get pregnant for four years are told by doctor the wife is still a virgin because they were having anal sex” — well, at least the husband got something out of it… but after they figured out what they were doing wrong, she got pregnant, which as any fule kno, is when the sex stops. I know all this sounds unlikely, but let us remember that this happened in China, where anything’s statistically possible in a population of 1.5 billion people.
#2 didn’t have a shovel?
Sure he had a shovel, probably dozens of them, he’s a hoarder, he hoards things.
Bodies too apparently
Politically incorrect joke from an ancient National Lampoon issue:
A young Greek woman marries a sailor. A year after into the marriage, there are still no grandchildren. So the mother of the bride takes her daughter aside and says “Why have you given me no grandchildren? Does your husband not make love to you?”
Through tears, the wife says “Yes, mother, every night. But I just can’t keep from SHITTING afterwards!”
Not actually with you on the German fires and bombs thing.
“They” are pretty much all dead. I wouldn’t feel you deserved problems because of some crime of your father or grandfather.
The idea however is very Germanic – “Sippenhaft”.
I am of German origin but pretty much dislike Germans and German ideas but it’s because of their current annoying behaviour, like re-electing socialists and the egregious Merkel, ugh.
That rat bastard McCain has finally stopped wasting perfectly good oxygen..