Coincidence? I Think Not

In yesterday’s Daily Mail, we discovered that people are bonking less:

A major study found there has been a steep decline in rates of intimacy since 2001, with fewer than half of Britons now having sex once a week.
Scientists said that ‘life in the digital age’ was partly to blame – with couples now too distracted by Netflix, social media or their phones to focus on each other.

However, in the article which appeared right next to it, I think the true reason for the bonking decline manifested itself:

Britons are drinking LESS alcohol than they did 10 years ago despite rising rates across the world ‘because health conscious youngsters are shunning the habit’

Frankly, while there may be anecdotal evidence that it’s all because youngins are more health conscious, I myself think that the the true cause of the bonking decline is the lack of booze coupled with feral feminism, with digital media (phones, Netflix etc.) a distant third.  Let’s face it:  unappealing women and no booze do not set the scene for coupling, so to speak.

I can’t remember where I read it, but the Old Fart Set (baby boomers) are shagging like crazy, maybe more than ever (to judge by the soaring pox rates), not only because we’re not slaves to our phones, but also because we aren’t as affected by the health bullshit and continue to drink.  And finally, our Old Broads, despite having been at the forefront of (now called “first wave”) feminism, aren’t as fucked up by what feminism has become — male-bashing and misogyny — and are thus more likely to want to slip between the sheets after a few gins.

That’s my thesis, anyway, and it’s just as plausible as anything proposed by the “scientists” (actually, researchers — the two are not the same).