No, Walter, he’s not here. He’s. Not. Here. Look, I’ll show you…
.
Frank checked carefully to be sure everything was tucked away neatly and hidden before joining the rest of the female volunteers in the pool at the DNC thrown women’s “Thank You!” pool party.
“Does this crotch shot make my nose look big?”
Technology is great! Now the gynocologists can use telemedicine too!
Now, to register the domain name snatchMD.com….
Mind the gap?
Winner!
I see your signal mirror, but there’s a guy here who says we can drive out if we can find his keys. Can you get a little more light in here?
When it is coupon day as the esthetician, a post wax inspection is always a good idea.
Enjoying the early hours of his weekend, Maximillian surreptitiously used his ‘mirror application’ to ensure all his ‘equipment’ was safely tucked ‘out of sight’.
Always an ‘early riser’, Maximillian ‘snagged’ his ‘lucky chaise’ at the annual Rising Of The Waters Red Bikini festival.
Here, we see him ‘taking a selfie’ to post to his ‘face’ book account… although, sadly, most of his ‘friends’ were not in the mood for his insufferable gloating.
Ever-hopeful for ‘true love’, Maximillian uses his telephone camera application to scan the thinning crowds for frumpy disinterested brunettes… never imagining, in his wildest dreams, Miss Nearly-Perfect was sitting so close!
Now, if she only likes fellows in red two-piece bathing attire, the coming evening shows certain ‘promise’…
[ warning: disgusting analogy / symbolism alert ]
During this re-enactment of the fateful voyage of The Titanic, band-member Maximillian ‘tunes’ his ‘instruments’, determined to continue playing inspirational music as he goes ‘down with the ship’.
Ever the masochist, Maximillian entertains the fantasy of another scolding from the resort ‘towel-boys’.
How many times must he be told to keep his tootsies off the chaise!
Perhaps, this time, more ‘towel-boys’ will join in for the disciplinary snappings! A fellow can hope…
[ warning: asterisk alert ]
Waking in unfamiliar surroundings after another long night of carousing, Maximillian uses his telephone locator application to establish his where-abouts.
Unfortunately, Maximillian could not adjust the telephone volume application before its wise-cracker application loudly announced:
“You are right here, a*****e!”
Getting an ‘early start’ on his shins tanning, Maximillian hopes to take first ‘place’ in the monthly Best Tanned Shins competition…
…because first ‘prize’ is a blue bikini, just the ticket to complete his set!
Second ‘prize’ is, as always, a flip-telephone, and who needs another one of those. Sheesh.
Can’t see any crabs. So why does it itch so badly?
The politically correct terms these days are Front Hole and Back Hole. Janet is trying real hard to figure out which is which.
See, I told you, no flies.
I’m telling you, I swear there’s a gerbil in there. Just keep watching, any minute now…
“When I asked you for a crotch selfie, I didn’t mean an “R” rated one!”
“It’s twenty freakin nineteen, and you still have a flip phone???”
WISH YOU WERE HERE !
No, Walter, he’s not here. He’s. Not. Here. Look, I’ll show you…
.
Frank checked carefully to be sure everything was tucked away neatly and hidden before joining the rest of the female volunteers in the pool at the DNC thrown women’s “Thank You!” pool party.
“Does this crotch shot make my nose look big?”
Technology is great! Now the gynocologists can use telemedicine too!
Now, to register the domain name snatchMD.com….
Mind the gap?
Winner!
I see your signal mirror, but there’s a guy here who says we can drive out if we can find his keys. Can you get a little more light in here?
When it is coupon day as the esthetician, a post wax inspection is always a good idea.
Enjoying the early hours of his weekend, Maximillian surreptitiously used his ‘mirror application’ to ensure all his ‘equipment’ was safely tucked ‘out of sight’.
Always an ‘early riser’, Maximillian ‘snagged’ his ‘lucky chaise’ at the annual Rising Of The Waters Red Bikini festival.
Here, we see him ‘taking a selfie’ to post to his ‘face’ book account… although, sadly, most of his ‘friends’ were not in the mood for his insufferable gloating.
Ever-hopeful for ‘true love’, Maximillian uses his telephone camera application to scan the thinning crowds for frumpy disinterested brunettes… never imagining, in his wildest dreams, Miss Nearly-Perfect was sitting so close!
Now, if she only likes fellows in red two-piece bathing attire, the coming evening shows certain ‘promise’…
[ warning: disgusting analogy / symbolism alert ]
During this re-enactment of the fateful voyage of The Titanic, band-member Maximillian ‘tunes’ his ‘instruments’, determined to continue playing inspirational music as he goes ‘down with the ship’.
Ever the masochist, Maximillian entertains the fantasy of another scolding from the resort ‘towel-boys’.
How many times must he be told to keep his tootsies off the chaise!
Perhaps, this time, more ‘towel-boys’ will join in for the disciplinary snappings! A fellow can hope…
[ warning: asterisk alert ]
Waking in unfamiliar surroundings after another long night of carousing, Maximillian uses his telephone locator application to establish his where-abouts.
Unfortunately, Maximillian could not adjust the telephone volume application before its wise-cracker application loudly announced:
“You are right here, a*****e!”
Getting an ‘early start’ on his shins tanning, Maximillian hopes to take first ‘place’ in the monthly Best Tanned Shins competition…
…because first ‘prize’ is a blue bikini, just the ticket to complete his set!
Second ‘prize’ is, as always, a flip-telephone, and who needs another one of those. Sheesh.
Can’t see any crabs. So why does it itch so badly?
The politically correct terms these days are Front Hole and Back Hole. Janet is trying real hard to figure out which is which.
See, I told you, no flies.
I’m telling you, I swear there’s a gerbil in there. Just keep watching, any minute now…
“When I asked you for a crotch selfie, I didn’t mean an “R” rated one!”
“It’s twenty freakin nineteen, and you still have a flip phone???”