From the much-reviled Puritans (very relevant at this time of the year):
Puritans believed it was also “to knit the heart of a husband to wife,” a charming thought. One of the supposedly oppressive rules of the Puritans was that men should not get away with taking advantage of women. They were strict. They did not believe that a man and woman who were not husband and wife should be alone together, because they thought the temptation was likely to be too much for one or both of them. We threw that rule out, and guess what? It turns out it has a good deal of truth to it. Just because adultery does not occur in 100% of such situations, or even 30% does not mean it doesn’t happen more than is good for both individuals and society as a whole… [Puritans] did not foreswear the flesh, they merely believed it should be held under short rein.
So many of the “old social rules” which have been weakened and eventually discarded have, over time, been seen to be not only sensible, but whose absence has been very harmful to society.
But with the modern world’s insistence that we never ever ever go back to the old ways because that would be [pick any or all as appropriate] reactionary, racist, hateful, intolerant, intolerant, silly, White hegemony, patriarchal and in general doubleplusungood, I’m gloomy about the chances of our ever reinstating any of those old customs, rules and mores.
Even if going back would be beneficial to, oh, just about everybody.
I think I’ll go to the range this afternoon. That usually dispels my gloom.
It doesn’t matter how everybody else conducts themselves, it’s about how YOU conduct yourself. You can’t dictate how others behave but you can lead by example and that’s about the best you can do. In the 30+ years I have been in business, and the 36 years I have been married, not once did I betray my vows to my wife though there were ample opportunity’s to do so. If I had I would have considered myself a failure as a human being, proving I was incapable of trust. For me, that would have been an unendurable punishment. My ol’ gray haired Pappy told me long ago when I was but a wee lad, “Son, look way ahead for trouble and steer yourself around it.” I didn’t always follow my Pappy’s advice to the letter, and the times I veered were the times I paid the price. Some haunt me still.
This was roughly my same thought too. I no longer care what the rest of the world thinks. I no longer care what the women I work with think. My bride is more important than they are and my vows mean more to me than they do. If conducting business means that I have to be alone with a woman, then is it really business we’re conducting or are we just conjuring rationalizations? If I need to work late with a female co-worker, then I leave the office at the normal time and we can work on things via conferencing software (where my bride can overhear everything).
If this makes me a sexist, so be it and I will wear that label. If that makes me less promotable, so be it and I will be content where I am. I have little desire to play games that are intentionally rigged against me. I have little desire to placate the feelings of women who are so insecure in who they are, they somehow need my validation in order to feel like they’re part of the team. I have no desire to bend the knee at the altar of Social Justice and worship that particular golden calf. If that makes me less of a man to the girl-power movement, then I respectfully submit they know nothing about what it means to be a man.
Funny how the folks braying the loudest that we shouldn’t go back to the old, puritanical ways don’t seem to have any problem with rules of a certain “religion of peace” regarding the restrictions of the activities of unmarried men and women.
Oh, so now you’re applying “logic” and “consistency” to a discussion? How patriarchal of you.