Today I am having a colonoscopy.
Normal service should resume tomorrow.
Update: Back home. My ass hasn’t felt this way since freshman year at boarding school.
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Today I am having a colonoscopy.
Normal service should resume tomorrow.
Update: Back home. My ass hasn’t felt this way since freshman year at boarding school.
Comments are closed.
Some music to ease your discomfort . . . Bowser & Blue from Canada
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2gABYTmXos
Be sure to let UV rays blast your asshole afterwards for maximum recovery and strangeness.
The procedure itself isn’t a problem. Real torture is the prep. Halfway through that I was hollering “D-day! June 6! Eisenhower! Normandy beach!” Nobody listened.
And today, Kim is no longer full of sh*t ! I also hate that prep thing, much worse than the exam where they give you such good stuff as they put you under you would agree to let them drive a small truck up your backside cause you no longer give a sh*t.
“no longer give a sh*t” ISWYDT.
Well, it’s all behind you now!
Now, tell us about your freshman year, inquiring assh*les need the distraction.
Last time I had to go through that there was a room full of student doctors, nurses and we all got to watch it on tv in real time. What a joy.
Hope they didn’t find anything.
That was the start of a very long process for me.
One of the qualifying questions on the matchmaking site OKCupid:
“Have you ever cheated on an exam?”
My answer:
“Colonoscopy. But it was for a good cause.”
*****
Mine lasted until the probe hit my ileocecal valve (above my right hip, near my liver).
I patiently, calmly, explained to the crew:
“THAT’S ENOUGH!”
Fortunately, my sensible suggestion was received in time to avoid equipment destruction and claw-marks across the ceiling.
The staff barely escaped without dismemberment and gloating letters to their next-of-kin.
At several points during TheProcedure, their next-of-kin were next-in-line for a complimentary visit.
[ disclaimer == the preceding is merely for entertainment purposes, and does not represent my thoughts about TheMedicalEstablishment as a whole ]
[ the disclaimer in this post may or may not be based in reality ]
I’ve had 2 to date and the only discomfort was when the thing snaked around a corner. That would arose me from my torpor momentarily to see the screen conveniently placed in my line of sight. Didn’t see any aliens…
most embarrassing procedure ever…
on the other hand, i let out the most glorious, longest fart of my life, a moment in time that will never be surpassed from the pure joy, and pure relief i felt, at least until the next appointment.
Yeah, I’ve had 2. No fun, but gotta be done. 6 non-cancerous polyps last time. Mother died from it. No joke there.
Had it done at 60 and it was clean. asked them when I needed to do it again and they said every 10 years. I said they got one shot and that is it. At 70 I don’t think I will care.