News Roundup

Bad News

Guaranteed to be non-political, except for the first one.  Also, naked pictures of Giada De Laurentiis at the end.


…and it’s long past time for Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingram and  Sean Hannity to go to OAN or NewsMaxTV anyway.  Fuck Fox News, and the Murdoch brothers.


…call me a disbeliever, as Yoakam’s dense adenoidal Southern drawl makes all his lyrics unintelligible, even to Texans.


…not that I want to take the side of a raving pinko like Hanks, but the offended Jamaicans (if they are in fact the offended ones) can just go fuck themselves.


…FFS, that makes me nauseated just looking at it.  Also note that this is McDonalds UK, so Brits too can go fuck themselves every time they talk about “fat Yanks”.


…sounds about right.


…Irony Of The Day:  he’s named Makarov.


…one would have thought that he might have put “parachute” and “my fear of heights” together in his mind before volunteering, but this is the modern generation.


…I would have said “too Left” but whatever.


…in other news, the village’s tourism revenue explodes.

  .
…join me in welcoming the Emirates to the 20th century.


…FFS, if they wanted me to bonk for two solid months, they’d have to pay me more than that.  Unless it was with Giada De Laurentiis.

And oh yes, I’m afraid I lied about Giada’s naked photographs.  That was just marketing.

Here are some substitutes, of another TV chef:

Yeah, you’d bonk Nigella for two months for free.  Most real men would.

10 comments

  1. > Dr Crape said that having spoken at length to more than 200 present and former villagers, they realised that everyone bought their water from a single supplier who pumped it from an underground supply.

    And we come full circle to the origin of epidemiology, people getting cholera from a water pump in London polluted by a dead horse.

    And Nigella? Yes please!

  2. I wouldn’t call my fear of height acrophobia because I wouldn’t call fearing falling away from a ladder if I slip, or falling from a roof or cliff an irrational fear at all. I think it’s quite rational. I’ve had no problems atop the Eiffel Tower or CN tower, because they have an obvious mesh fencing. But CN Tower does have a glass floor inside that only small children seem to enjoy, and the Stratosphere in Las Vegas has a mesh net, but it’s not visible until you get to the edge of the outdoor observation deck, since it’s set up like a net below the deck. As for the Stratosphere’s roller coaster and drop ride atop it – SCREW THAT! Not happening.

    However, I have no problem with flying – from little craft like a Cesna to a big 747 or 767. I’ve even done a static line jump from 3,000 ft. – and was the first one out. Would’ve done it again but for a sprained ankle on landing, and lack of funds later.

    So, you’ve got to have a problem with ALL heights, and if you do, don’t be stupid enough to go into a parachute regiment or airborne division. Maybe he wanted to prove something to himself and failed on the Army’s dime (tenpence?)

    BTW – When men feel vertigo, it’s your balls trying to crawl back up inside, as if they’re telling you “Back away from the edge(!), let’s live long enough to reproduce.” So how do women feel vertigo?

      1. Does Dunn and Bradstreet still exist? I always said that women wanted men who were given a good number by Dunn & Bradstreet.

  4. Giada (whom I refer to as Giada of the Thousand Teefs) has some perky boobies. Only mammal that has more teefs than Giada is the possum.

  5. Big Macs – it’s obscene to put French dressing on a burger.
    That aside, about thirty years ago I worked on a Skunk Works type project as part of a small team off-campus. One of our guys, a fine engineer, was about 5′-10″ tall and 450-500 lbs, so big the only vehicle he could fit in was an F-150 with a bench seat.

    Our facility had no place to prepare or store food, so we took turns going out and picking up lunch for the group. One day it was my turn, and the big guy ordered and ate 12 Big Macs. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

    We all at one time or another tried to talk some sense into him about getting his weight down, and often said among ourselves and to his face that he would be dead by age fifty if he didn’t change his ways. At the time he was happily married, maybe 35 years old, had a farm and about seven kids at home.
    Just after I retired, I saw his obit; he died at 50 years and 3 months.

  6. Big Mac is one of my favorite McDonald’s burgers 🙂

    But I am 5’6″ and 220 pounds. The days of Big Macs have long been over.

    Been kicking Type 2 in the pants by just starving regularly! It’s amazing what not consuming carbs of any kind does for you when your BGL is creeping into the bad zone.

  7. Interesting note. I decided to look at the Fox News Fecesbook page. Made a spreadsheet last night. Kept refreshing the page and recorded. They’re losing about 100 likes an 100 followers every minute. At 5:10 PM their likes were 18814687 and followers were 22334168. At 6:33 PM their likes were 18805952 and followers were 22325587. Drop of 9763 and 9569 respectively.

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