With news so bad, you’ll puke. Today, we start off with a large helping of INSIGNIFICA (with links and comments, this time):
…daughter “JAMES”? Poor kid doesn’t stand a chance.
…file under “Nobody’s Business”. Journalism at its most prurient and intrusive finest.
…I preferred him when he was still an executive transvestite, and funny.
…you never go Full Luddite.
…Jesus wept.
…the only “sex toy” I’d want to use on this whiny moonbeam tart would be a bullwhip.
…fighting over sports teams is only slightly more ridiculous than fighting over shampoo brands.
Now onto the REAL [snigger] news:
…don’t you just love the Third World? Next thing, they’ll believe in Socialism. And speaking of which:
…sorry, Nigel old chap, but I’ll start to believe it when you Brits privatize the NHS.
…sorry, but I had to exercise a little editorial discretion, there.
…and if you were dead, we wouldn’t have to endure bullshit like this, you smug Canucki socialist sow. (For those with short memories, this foul creature was once governor of Michigan. Yeah, I know: Michigan voters have no clue.)
And just to improve the spirit, so to speak, here’s a Michigander who isn’t ugly:
If Dita isn’t good news, we’re all in trouble.
re:
Ryan Reynolds
a)
Until today’s Splendid news, I had zero-zero-zero interest in his spawn.
According to informed sources, the proud parents named the daughter ‘James’ because “It felt right”.
“It felt right.”
“It felt right.”
I imagine Mister Reynolds holding ‘it’, looking at ‘it’, thinking ‘it’ needs a name.
I imagine him throwing bible against a wall hoping for something interesting, maybe ‘Ebaka-eezer’ or ‘Jukking Jee-Hosifat’, but the winds of fate only offer the banal ‘James’.
His sense of inventiveness took a hard blow that tragic day.
b)
Somebody suggested I try Aviation gin made in Portland Oregon.
As a dedicated locavore headquartered in the firmly gun-toting wilds of Oregon, I thought I would would support a semi-local small business by acquiring a jug of Aviation.
After my preferred sipping gin — the heavenly Vivacity Organic, distilled in Corvallis Oregon — spoiled me for anything less, I am looking for a place to donate about us$29.95 worth of Aviation’s us$30 entry fee.
To make matters worse, I understand that Reynolds and his wife Blake Lively named their children after characters in some Taylor Swift album.
*sigh*
> …sorry, Nigel old chap, but I’ll start to believe it when you Brits privatize the NHS.
Spot on. Labour won Jeremy Clarkson’s council seat.