Today’s competition is a little different from the usual. Y’all have probably seen the twat [sic] from the FBI. Here it is, along with some responses already posted. Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to add your “twats” in Comments.
Unlike in Twatter, your Comments will not be censored or purged, so have at it.
The FBI. Isn’t that a dumpster company?
Is there any truth to the rumor that “FBI” is an abbreviation for “Federal Baby Incinerators”?
Now, please, don’t bring up that unfortunate experience in Waco…..again.
They promised they’d never do that again, unless a Dem was President.
Check the membership lists of known “radical organizations” like the First Baptist Church and VFW. Has the suspect ever received a catalog or email from Sportsmans Guide? Have they ever been seen measuring the inside diameter of black iron pipe at Home Depot and heard to whisper the secret phrase “slam bang”? Does the subject wear cargo pants? Do they wear ball caps or t-shirts marked with branches of the military (USN, ARMY, or the particularly threatening USMC) or firearm logos? Do they stockpile ammunition? Remember that anything more than one gun or one box of ammunition is an ” Arsenal”. Have they ever visited radical websites like Fox News or Great Mother Gaia help us SplendId Isolation? I could go on with this all morning but the dog needs to go out before the Stosstruppen come to shoot her.
I have 1,000 rd boxes of 7.62NATO – is that an arsenal amount?
What does the position of Block Warden pay? Is the salary paid out in Reichsmarks, rubles, or pieces of silver?
Food stamps.
SNAP!
What’s the next position up from a Block Warden?
Circle Leader (Kreisleiter) or Administrative Region Leader (Gauleiter)?
The advertisement re-worded:
* Irrelevants recruiting irreverents.
.
a — What could possibly go wrong.
b — Yet another example of the best YourBetters© can do. [referring to the ‘Peter Principle’, aka ‘rising to their highest level of incompetence’]
My response:
Kindly perform an anatomically improbable act of self-copulation, consume excrement, expire, and descend to the Infernal regions. Along with the equine transport upon which you arrived. A lot. Strongly worded missive follows.
Mark D
Where do I find this list? I want to challenge all my friends to see who can get the high score!
A T shirt with George Orwell and that saying would be so cool! Probably only to me, but still.
Snitches get stitches, and that applies to anyone who rats.
“Turn someone in before they turn in you.”
“Do your part. Gulags don’t populate themselves.”
“Dad made you get a job? Here’s your chance.”
“Revenge is only a click away.”
“Today’s FBI. CHEKA us out!”