First, I check the house number to see if I’m in the right house. I’m retired, I don’t have a wife/gf, so something must be wrong. Second, I try to warn yon lass about the dangers of cooking bacon with so much skin showing. She’ll learn.
In the case of my first wife — check the bedroom closet and under the bed to find where he was hiding. Thats why the bitch is my Ex-wife.
In the case of the next several girl friends — make sure the gas is turned off, because it looks like dinner is going to be delayed again
Run out to the garage and see how much damage was done to the car in the wreck.
You beat me to it!
At my age it’s been a long time since I had a girlfriend who looked like that. My second wife would come close, but she was much more into displaying her boobs rather than her ass.
As to what to do? Place hands on those hips, rub up against her and tell her how hot she looks. Anything less and she will be upset that you don’t even notice her anymore.
Aahh… grease stain antipasto again…..
.
First thing?
Turn the gas off. It’s gonna be a while before she gets back to that pan.
You beat me to it.
Second plan: pick her panties out of her ass and correct her spatula technique.
See if she’s cooking bacon.
Now, she’s definitely cooking with gas!”
These days Mr Truebrit would be after knowing if there was bacon in the pan……
Grab a tape measure. That’s one of the largest waist-hip ratios, ever.
“Woman, keep your hands away from your ass while you’re cooking.”
Wonder how my front-door key worked in someone else’s apartment.
Hi, honey.
Does this spatula make my ass look big?
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in bed!
First put an apron on her, then go to town on that delectable derriere.
If I’m lucky…I bite her on the ass, develop lockjaw and get drug to death.
Since this is how my wife often cooks, I’d give her a peck on the cheek and ask, “What’s for dinner?”
I already know what I’ll be eating for dessert…
Tell her to turn the gas down on that teflon pan before she poisons both of us and ruins the pan.
First, I check the house number to see if I’m in the right house. I’m retired, I don’t have a wife/gf, so something must be wrong. Second, I try to warn yon lass about the dangers of cooking bacon with so much skin showing. She’ll learn.
In the case of my first wife — check the bedroom closet and under the bed to find where he was hiding. Thats why the bitch is my Ex-wife.
In the case of the next several girl friends — make sure the gas is turned off, because it looks like dinner is going to be delayed again
Run out to the garage and see how much damage was done to the car in the wreck.
You beat me to it!
At my age it’s been a long time since I had a girlfriend who looked like that. My second wife would come close, but she was much more into displaying her boobs rather than her ass.
As to what to do? Place hands on those hips, rub up against her and tell her how hot she looks. Anything less and she will be upset that you don’t even notice her anymore.
Aahh… grease stain antipasto again…..
.
First thing?
Turn the gas off. It’s gonna be a while before she gets back to that pan.
You beat me to it.
Second plan: pick her panties out of her ass and correct her spatula technique.
See if she’s cooking bacon.
Now, she’s definitely cooking with gas!”
These days Mr Truebrit would be after knowing if there was bacon in the pan……
Grab a tape measure. That’s one of the largest waist-hip ratios, ever.
“Woman, keep your hands away from your ass while you’re cooking.”
Wonder how my front-door key worked in someone else’s apartment.
Hi, honey.
Does this spatula make my ass look big?
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in bed!
First put an apron on her, then go to town on that delectable derriere.
If I’m lucky…I bite her on the ass, develop lockjaw and get drug to death.
Since this is how my wife often cooks, I’d give her a peck on the cheek and ask, “What’s for dinner?”
I already know what I’ll be eating for dessert…
Tell her to turn the gas down on that teflon pan before she poisons both of us and ruins the pan.