My Thanksgiving Story

Outside the United States, Thanksgiving isn’t a holiday, nor even a thing — their loss — so I’m sometimes asked to explain the whole concept to foreigners.  Here’s the story I tell to do so.

Tom worked in the office next door to mine, back at the Great Big Research Company in Chicago.  He had moved down from Minneapolis to take the job, bringing his wife and kids with him.  Under the term “Straight White Corporate Guy” in the dictionary, you’d find his picture:  always immaculately dressed in suit and tie with polished Johnston & Murphy wingtips, glasses with thick lenses, hair cut short but not too short, a workaholic — you get the picture.

He also had a dark and impish sense of humor, completely out of character but made all the more enjoyable because it completely destroyed the stereotype.  (At the staff cafeteria lunch table one day, we were discussing what we’d do if we won the lottery.  Tom:  “Porn movies.”  “Make them or perform in them, Tom?”  “Both.”)

It came about that on one Thanksgiving, instead of taking the family back to Minneapolis for the extended family reunion, Tom had to stay because of work pressure;  He couldn’t leave on the Monday, as he usually did, so this year his wife and daughter went up early, while he stayed behind with his son, intending to drive up on the Wednesday evening.

Well, that never happened because on the day before Thanksgiving, the greater Minneapolis/St. Paul area was hit by a truly gargantuan snowstorm which was too much even for Minnesoduh to handle, which meant that Tom and his teenage son were stranded in Chicago until the day after Thanksgiving, at which point the roads would be clear enough for him to get there.  But as for Thanksgiving Day itself?  Just him and his boy.

Needless to say, there was no Thanksgiving meal, but Tom decided to make the most of it anyway, so he and his son went off to the nearby Jewel supermarket to get a substitute.  Tom, of course, did not know how to cook, so they got two frozen turkey dinners and went off to the checkout.

The cashier was a lady in about her fifties, and when she saw the two lonely TV dinners on the belt, she looked at Tom incredulously and said:  “Is this your Thanksgiving dinner?”

“Yes,” Tom said (and here’s where that sense of humor came in),  “This year, it’s just the two of us.”
“What about your wife?”
“She’s not with us.” (said with just a touch of melancholy)
“Oh no,” said the cashier, distraught.  Without a moment’s pause she said, “Would you and your son like to join my family for dinner later today?” 

And this, my friends, is the meaning of Thanksgiving.  This lady was prepared to open up her home and table to two total strangers, just so that they would have a family to share Thanksgiving with.

To his great credit, Tom was mortified, and with considerable embarrassment managed to extricate himself and his son from the predicament.  But he never forgot the episode.  Nor have I and, I hope, nor will you.

Despite everything, we Americans still have a lot to be thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Ignoring Today

John Nolte has written an excellent piece over at Breitbart about the absolute suckage that is modern movies.

I don’t waste my days, my life watching any of this crap. Every time I give something a chance, I get burned. Movies vouched for by critics, stuff I recently wasted my time with,  like Lucky (2017) and The Outfit (2022)…  Why? Why did I do that? Why did I waste my precious off-hours sifting through the massive pile of garbage that is Amazon Prime, that is Netflix, that is modern-day entertainment?

Like Nolte, I have a collection of movies on DVD, and not one but TWO multi-format DVD players (one in use, the other in an unopened box in a closet), and my Christmas/birthday lists inevitably contain “old” movies that I love.

As for the modern shit, I consider it a good year if there’s ONE movie I can watch all the way through.

Alternatives

Via the Knuckledragger, I see this little exercise:

Get Taylor Swift front row seats, or buy this instead

Given that I would rather be boiled in oil than have to sit through a Taylor Swift concert, never mind caught at a distance where I would be sprayed by her saliva as she mimes her way through her dreadful repertoire, it’s an interesting thought:

What’s a decent way to blow $11,000 (!) instead of a front-row ticket in Hell?

The guidelines are:  assume that you have no debts to pay off, and that the eleven grand is just to be spent on yourself.  What would give you the greatest satisfaction or enjoyment?  (Be as silly as you want;  one of the suggestions in the article was to buy yourself a pallet of Arizona Iced Tea — which for me, by the way, would be only marginally less horrible than the aforementioned concert ticket.)

You can choose to spend it on just one thing, or on several.

Your suggestions in Comments;  my choices will be below the fold.

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Clarification

Some of you may have read the above article and gone “Huh?” at my choice of chambering (9.3x62mm) for the Mauser.  A brief explanation follows.

As I’ve grown older, the thought of owning a whole bunch of different rifles (modern, not oldies) has palled somewhat, to the extent where I think I would prefer one astoundingly-good rifle in a do-it-all chambering.  So why choose the 9.3mm Mauser?

It’s more powerful than the .30-06 Springfield and has less recoil than the .375H&H Magnum.  Also, it’s old, having been developed back in 1905.  So it could take pretty much anything I’d need to kill, certainly in the U.S., and just about anything I cared to shoot in Africa, were I ever to find myself back there.  The premium hunting ammo (Federal Woodleigh 286gr) is horrendously expensive (over $4 per pull);  but of course Prvi Partizan, bless their little Balkan socks, make it for about $1.25 each so practice is not as expensive as one might think.

Here’s a quick comparison:


…and then with the mighty .375 H&H:

Here’s the thing:  the 9.3mm Mauser isn’t as powerful as the H&H.  But that reduction in power comes with about 25% less owie to the shoulder — and lest we forget, the 9.3 was used to hunt all sorts of African game (including elephant) in the decade or so before the H&H came to the party.

I like the idea of it.

Speed Bump #8,403

I love headlines that make me want to throw the gin bottle across the room:

…took the “reigns”?  Once again, editing by Spelchek.  Fucking morons.

Still, it could have been worse;  he could have taken the rains, and made the thing even wetter than it turned out to be.

Quite So

From Andrea Shulman at the Daily Mail:

“The crypto currency FTX collapsed last week, losing $32billion of value overnight. Sam Bankman-Fried, the youthful founder once hailed as a crypto legend and now facing possible extradition to the US from his Bahamas base, is always seen in a pair of shorts.  So are we surprised by FTX’s downfall?  Not at all.  Why?  It’s simple.  Never trust a man who wears shorts outside of his holidays.”

What she said.  I don’t know or care what or who FTX is/was, but her last sentence resonates with me, as you all knew it would.

This look is so over, and even more so when billions of dollars are being discussed.

On the other hand, “crypto-currency” isn’t real currency either, so maybe the small-boy look is appropriate.