Well I walked all around this crowded planet
But I walked all alone;
Though the places change, the faces stay the same.
Spending my money thinking up funny stories that you tell
In a noisy bar where no one knows your name.
Running out of places still worth running to,
Taking pictures no one’s home to see;
Making deals with small-town tourists traveling alone:
“I’ll take one of you in Rome
If you’ll take one of me.”
— Paul Williams, Look What I’ve Found
The above memory was prompted by this article, wherein a list of 40 reasons is cited as to why it’s better to travel alone.
I hate that. For me, solo travel is not worth the effort, and unshared memories are completely pointless. But: sitting alone in a Paris bistro? drinking coffee and eating pastries in a Viennese coffee bar, by yourself? looking into shop windows inside London’s Burlington Arcade, just for your own curiosity?
I get it, by the way; having complete control of your own itinerary is great, because you get to do only what you want to do. But honestly, often someone else’s “wannado” can open your mind to something fine you might otherwise have missed.
I remember taking New Wife to see the wonderful Green & Stone artists’ supply shop in Chelsea, and after browsing around and being captivated, she said: “It makes you want to take up art, just so that you can use all these lovely things.”
I’d visited Green & Stone several times in the past, but I’d never been able to put into words what she (my traveling companion) did so effortlessly: and it made the whole experience better.
Worst of all, of course, is at the end of the day you, the solo traveler, have to go to bed without someone to lie next to, to cuddle and recap the day’s wonders; and you don’t get to fall asleep next to the warm body of someone you love.
Travel alone? Pah.
I’ve traveled all over the United States with my friend Trevor, both as foreign tourists and later as domestic tourists. I can truthfully say that in all that time, there is not a single day we spent together that would have been better spent alone. Even when we were freezing our nuts off:
Or keeping warm, so to speak:
Don’t ask.
Here’s another take. On one of our trips (can’t remember where, but somewhere on the East Coast), we went to a noisy bar where no one knew our names, but a group of people was having a huge party — except that the two guys who’d brought guitars for a sing-along couldn’t play for shit, and only knew a couple of songs.
Ordinarily, I’d just have shrugged the thing off and left when I got bored; but NO! my friend Trevor pointed to me and shouted out: “Hey! My buddy here can play guitar! And he knows quite a few songs!”
I didn’t kill him, but took the guitar and started to play, just for the hell of it — which I’d never have done by myself.
The party lasted till 1am. (Okay, a wee bit longer than that, as I recall.)
Travel alone? That’s for other people. Give me my wife, my kids or a close buddy like Trevor, and I’ll take that accompanied trip all the way over being on my own. Seven days a week.
When you travel alone, especially if part of the reason for the trip is work related, your first companion is boredom. wherever you go might have something worth looking into, but rarely all that much to be exciting. Whenever you’re not working, you’re usually planning on more work or following up on meeting results. meals are usually taken solo, you tend to drink more, and you long for the time you can reach out to family over the phone or the internet, wishing you were home instead of chasing the golden dream.
And you find yourself getting the side-eye wherever you go. You become a suspect for all manner of evil things, especially if there are children where you are at. And God forbid you should have health issues in a city not your home, far from the family and professional help you might need. Fall on the ice and break a hip and see how that works out for you.
Agree.. I traveled the world for work installing and training computer gear, 98% of the time alone. I was good at travel and my gut was adapted to eat/drink anything and have no reaction by military deployments. That being said it was a lonely time. Sometimes the people you are working with try to take care of you, but they have lives too so..
Some places you need to keep your third eye working overtime to make sure you get home in one piece because you are an obvious 1%er target. Columbia in the 80’s they told me to stay in the hotel and not leave, during car rides they told me a pistol was under the seat for my use if we were stopped. You drink more to kill time, maybe look for a side trip to take advantage of being there, but even standing in front of the Taj Mahal or Victoria Falls in awe, you look to your side wanting to share your experience. You take pictures and buy a souvenir here and there, but a travel companion would have been ideal.
I enjoy traveling with someone. My wife and I compliment each other when traveling because we’ll stop if either us sees something interesting. You’re right, it can broaden our experience and it is fun to share the experiences with each other. One of us might miss something so we bring it to each other’s attention.
The tough part is choosing the right travel companion. I refer to this as the long car ride test. Someone is a very good companion if I’ll get in the car with them for a long 10+ hour drive. I went on a 4-5 hour drive with someone and his wife. They put one CD or tape in the player and let it go so we heard the same music over, and over, and over again. It was quite tedious. They did not make the cut for the long car ride test.
JQ
My wife/travel companion died seven months ago. I’ve got a big list of places I want to go, as well as the time and money to do it. But going alone just doesn’t have much appeal to me for all of the reasons Kim stated. I’ll probably do it anyway a few times just for a change of scenery.
Scott,
I’m very sorry for your loss.
JQ
I usually travel alone if I go to a car race or music festival in which my wife has no interest
It’s nothing like traveling with her, of course, but I’ll do it to see a particular event
I’ll be in Daytona in a couple of weeks with some of my friends and then there by myself for a week or so in late February to see more races
I’ll never forget the times my dad took me to dirt track races in the mid-1960’s and I have been going ever since, albeit to asphalt tracks for the last 35 or so years
But I miss my wife terribly when I’m away
Most of the time I have no option but to travel alone. I’m big on museums, art galleries, and wine-tasting.
In the almost 39years we have been married I had previously only been on an excursion without her once and that was with my best friend and it was only for a day.
A couple months ago I did an excursion alone that had been on my bucket list but my wife had no interest in it. It required quite a bit of driving. An hour into it I was “missing” her. By late afternoon and I was heading home I couldn’t push the pedal into the floor any harder.
I enjoyed what I had done and liked telling her about all the wonderful things I had seen and done but I am still left with a hollow feeling about all of it. Have I been maritally consumed?
If so, this causes me grief to consider what life will be like if she dies before me.
My wife passed away about nine years ago. I’ve spent most of the time since by myself, with a few relationships here and there that didn’t last for long. I think I might have found somebody who can tolerate my eccentricities, so while she’s not yet able to accompany me on trips (due to a new job where you get very little time off at first), my days of solo travel may once again be numbered.
I’m writing this on the road, in El Paso for an event that had been scheduled for a while. Yesterday, we crossed into Juárez on foot, and I’d take pictures of things I found fun or interesting and send them to her. I’m looking forward to her being able to accompany me next year.