Month: February 2023

Uh Huh

Drive Time

Headline and sub-head for this article:

Quickest Pickup Trucks We’ve Ever Tested

The quickest on the list weighs more than 6800 pounds and is quicker than a Porsche 718 Cayman GT4

…right up until you get to take a corner, whereupon they more closely resemble the drum of a Whirlpool spin dryer.

They might do quite well in the Dakar Rally, actually, but they’d be up against some interesting competition:

…or however they say it in German.

Understand, I’m not saying that the auto companies shouldn’t make these behemoth speedsters — they must, because America — but people need to be careful about choosing their comparisons.

“Dear Dr. Kim”

Advice

“Dear Dr. Kim:

“I’m a rather well-known Hollywood actor in my late 40s who has a reputation for only bonking dating women younger than 25 years old — in fact, I generally ditch them shortly after their 25th birthday.

“For some reason, this seems to have pissed some people off.  They say I should ‘date women my own age’ or ‘stop cradle-snatching’.

“Here’s my philosophy.  After they pass 25, all the women I’ve met start to droop and sag, and even worse they want to start breeding like rabbits, and this makes them very unattractive to me because post-baby bods have droopy boobs, doughy tummies and tunnel-vag syndrome.  Also, the thought of dating women around my own age makes me a little nauseated — I mean, I know chicks like Amanda Holden (53) and Salma Hayek (56) are totally hot, BUT:  they’re all married and they have kids.  While I’m not really averse to having kids of my own (in principle, anyway), I’d rather not have to look after someone else’s, especially as women of my age tend to have daughters aged 16-24, and you KNOW where that might lead.

“Actually, their bodies are only part of the problem.  Sure, the under-25s are kinda brainless (in the ignorance sense), but “older” women are, if you’ll excuse the expression, bat-shit crazy and neurotic (and believe me, I know what I’m talking about).  While the latter are more mature, their psychological problems are equally advanced, whereas the younger women just don’t seem to have those issues.

“Anyway, Dr. Kim, what do I do about all this date-shaming?”

— Just Call Me Leo

Dear Leo:

Tell ’em all to fuck off.  Seriously.  If that old hag Cher can date some beardless weenie forty years younger than herself and nobody kvetches or scolds her, then why should you worry?  It’s not like your fresh girlfriends don’t know the rules of the game, n’est-ce pas? and they all seem quite okay with it.  Maybe it’s the fact that you fulfill all their twisted little fantasies:  fame, a jet-set lifestyle, trendy parties, beach vacations on tropical islands or large yachts, lots of sparkly little presents and, lest we forget (and according to urban legend) they also get frequently serviced by a large male appendage.  No wonder there’s a long line of early-20 hotties outside your door.

You seem to have it all figured out, so why change?  But if you want to shut the scolds up for a while, hold your nose and fuck date a childless hottie between ages 28-32 for a while, and then all the Jealous Ones will say, “Ah, good!”  and turn their envious Karen-gaze elsewhere . Then, when they’re not looking, dump Miss Middle-Age and resume the sub-25 thing.  Your excuse:  “Hey, I tried!”

Know this, however:  you are the envy of all men on the planet, who would do exactly what you’re doing if they could.

—

Aarfy Wins Again

Asshole Cops, Law and Order

From a long-ago post of mine:

One of my favorite-ever literary passages is in Joseph Heller’s Catch-22, when Yossarian walks into a bedroom to discover that his lunatic navigator Aarfy has just murdered a prostitute by throwing her out the window.  While he’s remonstrating with Aarfy, the military police burst into the room — and arrest Yossarian for being AWOL.

Here’s the latest Aarfy:

A police officer has been filmed kneeling down to chat with an animal rights activist who was blocking the road — before grabbing hold of an angry Londoner who was trying to pull a protestor away.

Yeah… don’t arrest the asswipe who’s blocking the road — an actual offense — but by all means do arrest the guy who is doing your job for you.

No wonder Brits aren’t allowed to own AK-47s (passim).

Not To Mention An Actual Life Skill

Good Stuff, Trades

Longtime Readers will all be aware of my support for the trades — electricians, plumbers, carpenters and so on — so you can imagine my grin of satisfaction upon reading this article:

Skilled tradespersons tradesmen* such as welders, plumbers, machinists, and carpenters “are in super-high demand,” Sasse observed.  Take-home pay for skilled trade workers is typically between $80 and $200 thousand per year, Sasse determined.  He said a construction superintendent in South Dakota recently informed him that concrete finishers were being paid $75 per hour for a particular project.

And let’s not even mention the financials:

“Most trade schools are six-to-nine months versus a four-year college,” Sasse stated, “but the minute you get out of that trade school — guess what — you get to go to work. So you’re going to make money for three and a half years while your buddy, who’s in a four-year college [program], is just racking up more and more debt. So you get this massive three-and-a-half-year jump on anybody that’s the same age.”

Yup. Not to mention the fact that at the end of the day, you could also start your own small business, to make the serious money.

And by the way, I like what Sasse’s organization stands for — follow the link for more detail.

Good stuff, indeed.

*Yeah, I know women can do most of this stuff too (see below).

But that’s not the point.  This is.

I don’t use “chairperson” because the position is “chairman” OR “chairwoman”, “spokesperson” because the function is “spokesman” OR “spokeswoman” (if we’re going to be pedantic), and “head teacher” when the correct words are “headmaster” OR “headmistress”, depending.

“Tradespeople”?  Nonsensical, as so much PC bullshit is.