Here’s the setup: you own a seaside cottage somewhere pleasant — the Carolinas, southern Oregon, Cayman Islands, Aruba… you get the picture. Wherever it is, you spend lots of time there: the whole summer, the whole winter, nine months of the year, whatever.
You have everything in place, but you need to buy a runaround car: something to get to the beach, go downtown to fetch more booze or groceries, or to just drive to the local restaurants for lunch or dinner. There’s no car rental available, so you’ll have to buy one (which works out cheaper anyway).
Fortunately, there’s a retail auto dealer in town called “Island Cars”, which will cater to your needs and store it for you and keep it in running order when you’re not there. Here’s what’s in stock, all with low miles, in good condition etc. Assume the prices are reasonable, and all within a couple hundred dollars of each other.
Austin Mini-Moke 
VW Thing
Fiat Jolly
And now the kicker (you knew there was going to be one, right?):
YOUR WIFE GETS TO CHOOSE IT, AND YOU HAVE NO VETO.
Which one do you think she’d go for? (For the unmarried / widowed among you, go back in time and guess.)
Easy. The Wife has wanted a VW Thing since she was in high school.
I’d do the VW Thing, paint it tan, and put small palm tree decals on the fenders. But that’s just me.
When Miss Margie was with us she would have picked the car with the most cup holders. That was always the first thing she checked out when we went car shopping.
She would have gone for the Fiat because it’s “cute”. The fringed top would have been a plus. Paint it pink (its HER car) even If she didn’t sell Mary Kay and its a done deal. Would I be seen driving a pink car? Beats walking.
Careful LT, that might make your right arm stiffen
How high?
This high!
A tropical island is going to be hot, humid, and have lots of insects, so my choice would be the one with cloth seats and air conditioning.
If it’s Useppa Island, all the cars will be golfcarts.
https://www.useppaislandhome.com/
Useppa’s a weird place. My wife and I took the ferry from Captiva to Cabbage Key (fun) and the Useppa. Useppa was extremely well-manicured, covered with beautiful homes and completely deserted. I guess plenty of the rich’n’famous own homes there, but I found it to be a slightly creepy place.
Yeah, there’s like a cult status on that island. They think they’re better than everyone else. I’ve been designing homes on that island, and all the other islands too, for the past 30 years.
Kim,
You’re making this too easy. The Thing, hands down, any day of the week and twice on Sunday. When I was married, Satan’s father kept a bright yellow Thing on Martha’s Vineyard. We’d tool around the island – with the top removed. That was a FUN car. Ex brother-in-law had it the last I knew. Would love to have one again.
VW Thing gets yet another vote. The missus likes them.
JQ
Dude! Ya missed one of the most famous beach cars of all time. It came with wicker seat option too.
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/18/60/d7/1860d74ddb9555b84598bf4d59cecd88–citroen-mehari-citroen-dyane.jpg
Wife likes it in yellow. I on the other hand love the Kubelwagen in OD green
The Fiat would be my guess if the wife gets to choose.
It’s “cute”, i.e no real man would be seen dead driving it.
My brother lives on an island in Maine all spring , Summer, and Fall. He has an island car that he uses to get back and forth between his house and the town dock. He lives on the other side of the island, a good 1/2 a mile from the dock. All the island residents (15 families) leave thier “cars” with the keys in them in the same field next to the dock since there is only one “road”. But none of them are as fancy as you propose. Most hardly run, and doesn’t really matter anyway since distances are small.
My brother’s island car is a John Deer Gator with 6 wheels, whishful steering and imaginary brakes.
My wife’s choice would be the same VW she owned 45 years ago.
….. But those island cars are just a convivence on the island. The real “island car” that’s even more necessary is a Boat. That’s where the money goes since there is no place to buy anything on the island other than the two restaurants next to the dock.
…… and most residents have spent almost as much on their house as on their boat.
My wife would instantly declare the first two as incredibly ugly and would probably pass on the third cause of wicker seats. Instead she would keep her Buick LaCrosse and use an electric golf cart for any actual driving on the sand. Me? I’d have to pick whatever would have enough torque to pull the boat down to the ramp and back since I’m way too poor to have a house on the water with an actual dock.
End of the day, we’d probably settle on an old Ford Ranger, 4-banger, manual trans, 4WD and oversized tires.
That said, the John Deer Gator would probably be fun too. That or the Rokon Scout motorcycle.
What part of “You have a choice of three. Pick one.” was not clear?
The part where I live in Texas and have pretty much never seen a running example of any of the three listed.
Yeah, I know, your contest your rules.
The wife would pick the VW. She’s loved VWs ever since she owned one back in the early 90’s.
Mrs. Bix would certainly choose the Fiat Jolly because, as noted above, “It’s cute.” Her current car is a PT Cruiser for the same reason.
My wife would pick the Fiat for cutsieness, but the VW would sway her for its practicality because of its 4 doors, roof, and windows in case of rain.
You forgot the most important detail, price.
Which one is the most expensive? That’s her choice.
My wife, God lover her? The austin, as it has mounted the grill guard for pushing the undesirables out of the way. Or the Thing, as it has the large front trunk space – to store more guns.
She’s going to ooh over the Fiat, I will remind her that it is a Fiat, and then she will go with the Moke. That works for me, too, because I still love The Prisoner. Paint job and upholstery decided.
When the Moke came out, I was working for a BMC/Lotus dealership in LaCanada (a foothill suburb of L.A. next to Pasadena). The dealership bought one to use for runs to the distributors location across L.A. in Compton. Four of us would pile in and go for an interesting ride across L.A. during the morning rush – three of us would get to drive new cars back to La Canada while yours-truly (as the rookie) got to return the Moke home with whatever service, sales, and parts, that were to be picked up. I can’t tell you how much fun it was to be in the 3# lane with an 18-wheeler on one side, and a maximum length bob-tail on the other at 55+mph, and all you could see out of the corner of your eyes were the lug-nuts spinning on the two trucks.
FUN TIMES!
The Late Wife and I honeymooned in Montego Bay in 1979 and rented a ’74 VW Thing (Type 181) for a week. I believe the princely sum of $70 was paid. Sea Foam Green with a fringed white top. We went back again in 2000 and the damn thing was still there, ran about the same and the only difference was it had Wet Okele seat covers on the front seats and scrap tin roof floor boards.
In her memory, one vote for the Thing.
Another vote for the Thing, after reminding her that FIAT stands for endless repairs and no wheels.