So Beloved Granddaughter has left us (along with her lovely parents) and gone back to Seffrica sob sob.
While Over Here, of course, we showed them around and tried to see the country from their perspective.
While they truly enjoyed themselves — I mean, Buc-ees, who could hate that? — there were some blots on the landscape, and here are the three most egregious:
1 – Waffle House Sucks
It used to be the place where America had breakfast on the road, and where we could be assured of an inexpensive meal drawn from a dizzying choice of meals. Now? I won’t be going back. A cut-down, tiny menu (fallout from Covid, by the way), no longer inexpensive, and to be honest, the food was terrible even by WH’s standards. (More on this later.)
2 – Sports Merchandise Is A Fucking Ripoff
We got to babysit Beloved Granddaughter while her parents went to watch a Dallas Mavericks game, which they enjoyed immensely — although bewildered by the spectacle. The next morning, I went to Academy to buy them some Mavs stuff for souvies. Did I? Like hell I did. $30 for a cheap (made in Third World Country #7) t-shirt? $50 for a ditto sweatshirt, $25 for a cap? WHO ARE THEY KIDDING?
3 – Light Beer Is Not Only Piss, It’s Also A Rip-Off
Son-in-law tried three different light beers (Bud Light, Miller Lite and Michelob Ultra), and declared them all to be shit beyond words. (I could have told him that, but he wanted to “try the American experience” — his words — even though I warned him against it.) The nadir of all this came at the Mavs game, where he paid $10 for a cup of the aforesaid Michelob Ultra. His description of American “light” beer cannot be repeated here, lest it offend my Readers’ sensitive feelings, and he is the politest, most Christian young man I’ve ever met.
Bonus: Even Cheap Food Is Overpriced
Breakfast at IHOP: $90 for four, excluding tip. $12 for a stack of pancakes? What the hell has happened to us?
Quite apart from poverty issues, it’ll be a LONG time before New Wife and I eat out again. The prices aren’t just high, they’re a fucking insult.
Good lord; you let them go back? I hope they have an escape route.
British passports.
Thank goodness.
Has there ever been a good, “Lite” beer? I hope you introduced him to some of the good stuff.
I’m no afficianado, so I can’t tell you what constitutes top-tier American beer, but I like Shiner Bock and Blue Moon. Did he try those?
> What the hell has happened to us?
15 dollar a hour minimum wage (I know Texas doesn’t have that, but other suppliers do)
4 dollar a gallon (or more) diesel fuel costs.
COVID response taking out a lot of the work force.
Re: #3
I didn’t drink beer even when I drank (coming up on 12 years “on the wagon”, so I must be getting close to .08 by now), but even as a yute I didn’t like the concept of “Light Beer”. I’m guessing they had to call it that because “Diet Beer” didn’t test well. It reminds me of Monty Python’s Bruces Sketch: “American beer is like making love in a canoe. It’s fucking close to water!”
American beer, and “light” beer in particular described by a Canadian friend.
“Like making love in a canoe…
Because it’s f%&#ing close to water.”
And now with the extra pizazz of a parody of a parody of a little girl boy as the “face” of Spud Light.
Which we’re supposed to accept as normal.
Where are we? About 15 minutes from being proper f%#@ed as a country.
I totally agree about ‘Lite’ beer, tastes like nasty water downstream from a pig farm or something like that. As for places that sell food when a person goes out to eat, that was a hard business before Covid and post Covid mediocre went downhill.
I don’t know if there are still some good TexMex places in Dallas like El Fenix used to be with decent good meals for a reasonable price but on a good day Waffle House was kind of marginal but cheap, last time I ate there was over 15 years ago so, there’s that.
As for the sports merchandise, I was told years ago by a man in that business that the cost of paying for licensing was going out of sight and that was 20 years ago. Seems as if some parts of our lives are doing the slippery slope down hill as we move on along in our years. Probably due to commies and hippies which we all knew was coming. I hope your kids from overseas had some good experiences here in Texas to offset the negative crap and a good time was had by all.
Oldwest Cafe in Denton is the place for breakfast.
#1 the W in Waffle House is silent.
#2 you’re absolutely right. One reason I don’t follow sports anymore
#3 Light Beer like decaf Coffee is the devil’s work.
I avoid most restaurant chains. Longhorn is one of the few national chains I will go to. I’ll indulge in Chili’s on rare occasions. I might try local chains when I’m in that area. I’d rather take my chances at a local restaurant than a chain.
I hope your family had a good time, have safe travels and come back soon.
JQ
Lite beer is awful. Especially at a stadium with $10. Nothing like getting raped for an inferior product. At least there’s still the femboys.
Spent a lot of time eating out for work and with the wife. Both she and I have noticed that the quality of dining out has gone wayyyy down. As the price has gone up. We are just tired of walking away disappointed.
The Buc-ee’s experience is one of those “fun once” things. After that you start to get a little irritated at the people who pull up to the gas pump, start the fuel, and disappear into the store for two or three hours.
Also known as the Maverick experience in Utah. Only the Maverick stations aren’t as large, so what the hell are they doing for those two hours?
cost of everything:
As long as the WH/Congress continues to print money and send it off to Zelenskyy, the cost of everything is going to skyrocket – get used to it.
The new DC scam is going to be:
“Trade in $50 of those dirty old $1 bills and get one new one – the old ones won’t be usable as currency after September 2023.”
Loathe me some light beer, and always have. My current favorite beer is from New Belgium (CO brewery): 1554. A dark beer, but “not a porter, not a stout.” Mucho yum. Go ye and drink of it. So let it be written, so let it be done.
Uncle Sam sent me to Berlin for 5 weeks in the summer of ‘93. Up until that point, I’d only ever had American beer (Bud, Miller, etc.), as I was only 20. After a week of field training, my buddies took me out for a night on the town featuring real German beer. What an eye-opening experience. I tried to drink a Budweiser on the plane back to my duty station and almost threw up.
ALL beer tastes about the same to me so I buy the cheapest I can find with the highest ALC.
3 cheap 16oz brews while watching the wild creatures from the porch does it for me.
I’ll never buy a Budweiser product again. fuk em ded
Waffle House hasn’t been a thing for decades, unless it’s 2 am, you’re drunk and hungry and/or looking for a fight.
Back in the day, the 2 am drunk/hungry thing was handled by Whataburger drive-thru (usually one store in town open 24 hrs) with breakfast sandwiches and breakfast tacos. We used to love those things. Nowadays the only thing I do at 2 am is crawl out of bed, hit the toilet, and crawl back into bed.