News Roundup

So let’s look at some not-so serious news, for starters:

...asking the question nobody really needs an answer to.

...and if you think she had “daddy issues” before this...

But some have different ideas on the facility:

...keyword:  Germany.

...wait, you mean Trump’s not going to set up firing squads after he’s elected?
#LostVote

...I guess “hunting over bait” is illegal there.  And somebody remind me again why people like this are still alive, let alone not still in jail.

And in Glueball Jihate News:

...and the Izzies missed out on this Target Of Opportunity?

...and Turkey’s Kurdish separatists are just freedom fighters.  See how that works, you Islamist asshole?

...hey, it’s their First Amendment right.  Now, under the same auspices, let’s talk about taking care of this bitch:

...crucifixion or beheading?  I report, you decide.
#CulturalAppropriation

…my suggestion:  round up everyone involved in this rally, and deport them to Gaza.  Let’s see how they’re treated by Hamas.

And now for some more Girlyman News:

...IBM HQ is in Armonk, NY (he explained unnecessarily).

From the Great Cultural Assimilation Project comes this item:

...so much for that silly “Homeland Security” thing.

Time for the ever-popular (and link-free) INSIGNIFICA:

        

...hey, “EggSlut” isn’t that bad, when you consider the other options, e.g. “Brekkie-Box” , “Fried Faggots” or “Spotted Dick”.

Finally, on thinking about things we’d like to eat, here’s another perennial favorite:

…

Call that “busty”?  Nope.  We want MOAR busty:

…kinda like that.

Erratum:  in last week’s roundup, I suggested that the brewery worker found peeing into the vat may have been employed by Anheuser-Busch.  This was incorrect.  The actual brand of beer thus “affected” was China’s Tsingtao and not Bud Lite.  I regret the incorrect aspersion, because we all know that Bud Lite is most excellent beer, the favorite of young drunken men for decades, who can’t all be wrong. [eyecross]

Also, keyword:  China.

By the way, Tsingtao is the Asian equivalent of Bud Light — very popular, for no apparent reason.