From this cantankerous Olde Phartte:
“Getting older is not about embracing life’s adventures, it’s a slow and orderly retreat from them.”
…and he spells it out for us in the article.
Can I hear a “Yeah, man!” from us kindred spirits?
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I am the same way now as I was in my mid 30’s, though a little slower and a little less dangerous about all of it. I long ago stopped using watches and clocks and mostly calendars, with dawn and dusk being my timepieces. I still do my regular work though less of it, and rest of the time I do what I want. Fortunate to have a wife (of 39 years) that does the same. We’re comfortable, have no big goals, but we wish we were a little more isolated from society. Everything society grates us.
The Mrs and I were discussing this the other day, simplifying has been the track for the last few years as the day-to-day routine has morphed into “what do we want to do today?”
We live “ranch country remote”…on purpose. Been here for over 20+ years…a chosen strenuous lifestyle. But we are working to reduce “chores” while still enjoying every reason why we wanted this place and working to maintain the lifestyle.
Had a former neighbor (one of 3 year-round on our main road in) who would say, “Yeah…no…not doing that.” Having hit our 60’s we now get his sentiment…and have become more emboldened to say no without guilt when someone asks us to do something or offers an invite out. We call it “living intentionally”…the tail is not allowed to wag the dog.
Not from me.
We did the more demanding Bucket List items when were more physically capable of doing them. Inca Trail to Matcha Picchu, Trek in the Himalayas, Offshore Transit Sailing, wife did her SCUBA and 50 of the Fourteener’s when we lived in Colorado, etc. Now at 75+ we get to just sit on the beach or drive around the island from the resort to the restaurant to like all the other olde pharttes when we go somewhere we haven’t been yet.
OK……maybe the same end result in that I’m retreating from the adventures, but different perspective in that we did them instead of not.
Better to be a Has Been than a Never Was.
Last year’s chores become this year’s adventures. Now that She is wheelchair bound, the only focus point is to use care and cunning to ensure that I’m alive and able when she needs me.
I won’t comment on how good it’s been, because I don’t want to attract the attention of the Things That Listen.
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I have recently said something similar. In my early 70s, I recently began using a cane to make my way through the day. Someone asked me if I was surrendering to old age. I thought about it. It’s not a surrender, I’m just falling back to a more defensible position.
Saw an old dood at walmart the other day with a cane made out of a baseball bat. I told him I liked it, dual purpose, and that I may make one for myself.
I am 66, my wife just turned 51. She has her own practice and is essentially a workaholic. I just sold my commercial bakery and kitchen in March of this year and stayed on for 6 months to keep the new 30-something owners from driving the business into the ground, at least right away. They’re on their own now. I kept a small line of the business that they weren’t interested in (commercial freeze and air drying and packing and specialty compound butters), which I do out of my home so I’m busy about 3 days a week.
We travel quite a bit, as long as she can attach some seminar or training to the trip or it’s to her sister’s place in Wales. Her sister and BIL are boon traveling companions and we use London as our jumping off point for 1-2 trips a year. Her aunt lives in Lauterbrunnen, Switzerland and we try to get there every other year at least.
I’ve come to realize that my wife and I are never going to have a traditional “couples” retirement, and that’s ok. About every other month, I’ll pack up the van and go visit some old Navy friends. This year it was Maine, Kentucky, Wisconsin and Florida. Next year it will be New Mexico, Arizona, Colorado and Idaho. My sister’s husband is always up for a road trip so we split the driving and hit every pawn shop and gun store along the way. He’s a retired AF E-9 and I’m a retired O-5, so we stay at military hotels and housing along the way when we can. I figure I can do this another 10 years or so, or as long as my health holds up. I’ve no interest in any big US cities and I generally tend to travel in and through Free States. I quit watching the news 18 years ago and quit paying attention to politics in 2020.
I’ve got a good life, I’m just going to live it.
If ever you get to north Texas, drop me a note. We don’t have much in the way of scenic beauty [snort], but we do have wonderful BBQ and no small amount of good shooting ranges, to which I’ll be glad to introduce you.
@ 75+ I decided that the isolated woody fastness in which we’d been living for the past 25 years was no longer feasible (including the necessity of being closer to medical facilities), as well antifa destroying a city not all that far west of us and more and more stores putting signs in their windows reading:
“Aqui se habla Inglés – a veces”
and would have to become a thing of the past; we escaped to a bright red state at the opposite end of the country to enjoy the fruits of our earlier labors.
Getting older is a process of giving in, giving up, and letting go.
Truth here. Just sayin’.
The major point he makes, for me anyway, is that age loosens the shackles of doing things because we think we ought to, because others want us to, or even worse, because we think we like something that we really do not like.
Within reason I do what my family wants. I do most of what my wife wants as I understand There Will Be Consequences if I don’t, not so much for the adult kids, nieces and nephews, very little.
I was stupid slow in learning who I am and what I want to do. I have been preaching to my sons that the most useful things they will ever learn are those two things plus “What am I good at?” The perfect job is doing what one likes and is good at. I’m 71 and I do that now. I own a small amount of residential rental real estate and putter about the properties doing everything from plumbing and electrical to hauling garbage.
I’m 72. I still have most of my own teeth, all my hair, the plumbing works, BP 115 over 75, I get erections, weight within the normal range for my height, what have I got to worry about? As I drink very little I don’t get reflux.
I feel terribly sorry for Marcus Berkmann, the guy in the Daily Mail article. Never drove a car? Never mind fast, on a race track? Never rode a motorcycle… you got to be kidding me. I bet he’s never shot a gun, never mind in anger. He’s had a very safe, boring life. Never worn blue jeans, and proud of it… that tells you everything you need to know about him. The meaning of life is that life is meant to be lived. And now his intention is to live a life that’s even safer and more uneventful. Pitiful.
I’m hardly old (54 now), but a few years ago, we had a trip to Amsterdam planned. Before we left for the trip, I almost sort-of hoped that the trip fairy would wave her wand and make me cancel the trip. While I enjoyed the trip (Van Gogh and Rijksmuseum were both great), I think I’m done traveling internationally.
Maybe I’ll get up the gumption to get to Russia, maybe, if things ever settle down, maybe.
Maybe I’ll get to the south of France and see Arles, Orange and the Foreign Legion museum, maybe.
But, as Blaise Pascal put so eloquently: “A man wealthy enough for life’s needs would never leave home to go to sea or besiege some fortress if he knew how to stay at home and enjoy it.”