Let’s start off with some Medical News:
...should be jailed for giving out Plastic Fantastics instead of Colt 1911s, but I’m guessing that’s not the reason people are getting upset about this. More:
...didn’t know we had one.
Moving on to the Dept. of Education:
...statutorily raped, that is, as the lucky lad got his end into Teacher Dearest at least twice, apparently without complaint.
...see, now I can’t help thinking that if our Junior G-Man had been getting massively bonked by his home room teacher, he would have had neither the time nor the energy to get all shooty.
And in Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© News:
...because even in Sunny Seffrica, solar energy can’t deliver. [/Captain Obvious]
...remind me about that “snowfalls are a thing of the past”, again?
...who cares if Portugal is laid waste by mining, as long as California- and Islington liberals can ride around smugly in their little Duracell cars.
In Business News:
...and if you thought she made a lot of money from her music, wait till you see how she does with OnlyFans.
From the Crime Desk:
...keyword: Russia. Second keyword: 9mm Europellet.
And in LGBTOSTFU News:
...actually, Ms. Purple Hair, it proves the exact opposite: God does exist, and he hates you for being an amoral pervert.
From the Dept. of the Absurd:
...at this point, even Kafka would throw up his hands and admit defeat.
And in other INSIGNIFICA:
...call me old-fashioned, but “Woonsocket” is just a tad eccentric. Also too long.
Finally, in Hottie Showbiz News, Hurley Department:
...and yes, she even goes topless. 
I rather like her friend too, by the way.
#Threesome
And dat’s Da Nooz.
Its now LGBTOFU, squishy, unpleasant and unpalatable across the board.
Kindly update your acronyms.
Maybe you can upgrade to a higher end invisiline and get a 1911. Either way, the plastic fantastic isn’t such a bad prize. Too bad I have no interest in invisiline.
no pictures of topless Liz? that’s a shame.
I’ve seen news where lots of manufacturers are cutting back on the production of the glorified golf carts.
JQ
From what I’ve seen, Invisalign braces are plastic fantastic themselves, so a Glock seems appropriate.
Want a 1911? Get the good old metal and wire ones. Pistol whip those who would call you “brace face”.
“ Machete-wielding ‘zombie hunter’ survives
being shot seven times by cops”
Additional keyword; “cops”. While some police are dedicated shooters, most are not, and most departments (shortsightedly, I think) do provide ammunition for regular practice. Consequently, one cannot depend on police to hit their targets.
ALSO: Makarov!
Portugal?:
“Let me think about that.”
– Sarah Hoyt