Now that the 2023 Formula 1 season has ended, Max Verstappen has been crowned King Of All Drivers, etc., some questions still remain.
Asks Onetime Drummer Knob:
Simple answer: Liberty fucking Media.
Long answer: Liberty fucking Media, a bunch of woketard American businessmen who bought into the trope that grid girls were “exploiting” womyns and glorifying “unnaturally beautiful” women because of the race organizers’ consistent refusal to make grid girls “more representative” of womyns by adding Lizzo-style fatties to the mix.
Imagine introducing this:
…to this:
…and I think you’ll see where I’m going, here.
So Liberty fucking Media just banned the whole institution from F1, the wokist assholes. Which worked everywhere except Monaco, where the race organizers told them to take a hike.
Expect to see Monaco dropped from the F1 circuit at some point soon. Oh there’ll be Reasons, e.g. “the Monaco streets are too narrow to race the new F1 cars*”, but it’s going to happen.
*The streets aren’t too narrow; it’s the cars that have got fat and bloated.
…like Lizzo vs. the old-style grid girls.
I still miss the original IMSA Grid Girls from Hawaiian Tropic.
Legend has it that they were invented by Bill and Don Whittington, who needed way to help paper over the actual source of the mountain of cash they were spending with Andail and Porsche for their race car team. Ron Rice, the owner of an obscure sunscreen brand at the time was more than happy to play along and soon built the brand to the point where he could actually do the promotion on his own.
As someone who’s more toward the biggun’ side of things, I’ll say:
Looking at Lizzo’s gunt is dreadful.
Here’s to those who like ’em really zoftig
Ugh. Bring on the picture of the bunny with the cheese grater on its head. I’m desperately trying to get that image of Lizzo out of my head. The word for her is ‘overbese’. Maybe if I look at the other pics again, I can try & scroll past that one as quickly as I can…
As Merle Travis sang in “Fat Gal”, seventy years ago, Lizzo would be heat in the winter and shade in the summer, and if [she keeps voting as she does and] times get tough, you can render her down and sell the lard.
If Lizzo was Russian, she’d be a good farmer’s wife. When the mule gets sick, hitch her to the plow. But with the culture she came from, lard would probably be the only use.