Men are more likely to fracture their penis at Christmas, doctors say. German medics discovered rates of the eye-watering injury spike over the festive period.
Here’s the background:
Although the penis is not a bone, it can fracture when the appendage is subject to sharp, blunt force. Afterwards, the penis usually resembles an ‘aubergine’, turning purple and swollen.
Ah, so that’s what this emoji means…
…and this one means it’s crying, therefore broken?
Okay, never mind all that. Here are the Three Major Reasons why you might break your dick over the Christmas period:
- at the office Christmas party, you get too keen trying to shag that chick from Accounting in the upright position (you know,the one with humongous tatas), and slam into the wall by mistake
- it’s the only time of year when the old lady relents and gives you a pity fuck, and you can’t remember how it works after so long a layoff [sic]
- when you get your annual hand job (see above), instead of acting like a lady, she goes all Boston Strangler on your manhood.
Feel free to add your own ideas, in Comments.
You’re at Epsteins island spa and in the effort to shove it into a way too small 12yo your eggplant does a face dive and doubles itself over resulting in a paperclip shaped dik. Pretty rood, no?
Is it SO wrong that I was mildly aroused by that?
“when you get your annual hand job (see above), instead of acting like a lady, she goes all Boston Strangler on your manhood.”
What’s the difference between pink and purple?
Your grip.
When she’s bouncin’ up and down on you, cowgirl style, you slip out and she comes down on your eggplant where there ain’t no passage to adventure.