Splendid Isolation

“The Name’s Backless; Green Backless”

As the totalitarians / utilitarians / technology-worshipers in our midst try to push us evermore towards a cashless society, we see situations like this occur, this time in Britishland:

The IT meltdowns suffered by Sainsbury’s and Tesco highlight the dangers of relying on cashless payments which puts our society ‘at risk’, experts have warned.

On Saturday morning, Sainsbury’s experienced a ‘technical issue’ which created chaos for thousands of people on one of the busiest shopping days of the week.

The supermarket chain cancelled online orders and couldn’t accept contactless payments – so shoppers either had to pay in cash, or scramble to try and remember their PIN.

While people desperately queued to use nearby ATMs, the dramatic uptick in cash withdrawal meant many of the machines ran out.

Many loyal shoppers turned to rival chain Tesco – it also experienced issues with online orders, with a small proportion being cancelled.

By the way, you don’t have to be an “expert” to see the inherent dangers of over-reliance on technology;  you just have to be aware of the old maxim that to err is human, but to really fuck things up you need a computer.  And we’ve all been there.

Nor am I a conspiracy theorist, but at the same time the odds of a “technology meltdown” occurring in the UK’s two largest supermarket chains at the same time are, wouldn’t you say, rather alarming.

In another context, if the flight guidance systems malfunctioned simultaneously in both United Airlines and Air France — two unrelated corporations — there’d be all sorts of alarm and governmental enquiry commissions, not to mention screaming panic in the headlines.

Nor would the scenario of malignant agency be simply dismissed as paranoia — but here we are, where people can’t buy food for their families because of a “meltdown”.

You’d think that we’d have learned this little lesson during the previous lockdown, where all sorts of nonsense happened because “everyday life” was dislocated.

But we haven’t.

Just wait till Ford and Mercedes together experience “system failure” in their driverless car fleets…

Technology can be our friend, and often is.  But over-reliance on technology means it often isn’t.  Remember, the acronym MTBF (mean time between failures) is often used for reassurance, but it also presupposes the existence of failure.

Like what happened at Sainsbury and Tesco — simultaneously.


Update:  And now Greggs, too.

Double Entry

No, this isn’t about bookkeeping.  It’s about a woman who has a condition known as “uterus didelphys”, which in layman’s [sic]  terms means she has a twofer in terms of her reproductive organs:  two uteruses, two sets of Fallopian tubes and yes, two vaginas.  (For the language puristi, note that I wrote “uteruses” and not “uteri”, or else I’d have had to write “vaginae” instead of “vaginas”.  I’m striving for consistency, here.)

Anyway, she uses her didelphism to justify the fact that while she has two boyfriends, she allows each one to penetrate only “their” specific vagina and therefore technically she is “not cheating” on them.  As she so charmingly puts it:

“They both have their own vagina, so they only have sex with that one.”

(As an aside, I am driven to wonder how she handles that separation when it comes to cunnilingus, and also whether each vagina also has its own little “man-in-the-boat”, but let’s not be diverted.)

Given how often womyns call foul on men who cheat on them by saying, “she means nothing to me, it’s only sex”, I am led to wonder whether our little strumpet is in love with one of her tame penises (not “penes”, see above) and is just using the other for sex;  or (more likely) whether she’s just using both for sex and/or getting an income from two streams, so to speak.

I report, you decide.

Or, if you’re like me, you can go and throw up now, while wondering — and not for the first time — when the fuck [sic]  topics like this became part of the public discourse.

Hold Back

From Reader Mike L. comes this piece of good news:

A Pennsylvania man says he is celebrating his Mega Millions win by getting engaged.  The man, who didn’t release his identity to the public, reportedly won a $1 million Mega Millions prize in New Jersey with a ticket he ordered using the Jackpocket app.  Representatives with the lottery app said the lucky winner decided to purchase the winning ticket while on a break from work.

First things first:  I hope he had the foresight to hold back $450k in taxes from that million, otherwise his friendly local neighborhood IRS agent is going to give it to him good, as will the poxy New Jersey tax enforcers.

Second thing:  yes, his luck was good, but not that good.  Why?

The winning ticket matched all five white balls, just missing the gold Mega Ball.

Had he got the Mega Ball, his winnings would have been about $120 million, in which case he could have got engaged in a cabana at the Four Seasons in the Seychelles:

As it is, his $550k is a lovely windfall, but after buying a decent house, an engagement ring and paying for the wedding, he’ll still have to keep on working.

Being a millionaire isn’t what it used to be…

News Roundup

And speaking of speeding:


...”than expected” is now de rigueur in statements like this.

From our Crime Reports:


...reminding me of my support of the death penalty for pedophilia.


...I guess all those anti-cop defunding laws are working out just as we expected, but they didn’t.


...keywords:  New Orleans.


...keywords:  Los Angeles.


...keyword:  wait — Brooklyn?

This week’s PANIC ATTACK!!:


…wait, what happened to Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© and The Next Big Pandemic?

In Woke News:


...yeah, just follow the link if you don’t believe me.

In the Heart Of Stone Dept.:


...quit that unseemly giggling, willya?


(no link)


...and when I read success stories like this, it makes me proud to be an American.


...Terrible Tragedy or Great Escape?  I report, you decide.

And in a world of 

...that’s no way to talk about London.

 

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

Well, I guess if you’re going to play Big Boy Games, you need to be prepared to die like a man:

A 16-year-old male was shot and killed Monday while allegedly trying to steal a car around 2:20 a.m. from a San Antonio, Texas, apartment complex.

Police indicated the owner of the car heard glass breaking outside his apartment and went to investigate. Once outside, he found the 16-year-old allegedly sitting his his car, trying to steal it.

The car owner believed the 16-year-old was armed so he fired at the suspect, striking him once and killing him. [some editing necessary – K.]

Gotta say that San Antonio seems to be becoming a dangerous place to work, that is if your “work” involves undocumented property redistribution.