And speaking of which:
...frankly, if you’re over 50 and still need to be taught about safe sex, you deserve to have your naughty bits rot.
More Health News:
…
And in Economics News:
...and in other news, Gen. G.A. Custer is having issues with the Sioux.
...unexpectedly.
In related Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© News:
...unexpectedly again, as pounding hailstorms have never been seen before in Texas. [eyecross]
Time for some Easter Festivities:
...as long as the crucifixees are Commies and Greens [some overlap]. we should import that custom to the U.S. immediately. I have a list...
In Sex Wars:
...assuming, of course, that he can put up with all your vapidity, sophistry and childish behavior.
...and just a quick reminder of why:
Moving on to Train Smash News:
...can’t see the problem, as she’s inflicted her offensive music on us for all these years.
And from the cabin of Captain Obvious:
...two words: three strikes.
Also:
...in which we play our popular “Guess The Race” game. Can’t guess?
…quelle surprise.
In matters of 
And in Entertainment News:
…and the world mourns.
And in Sporting News:
I know, I know: “But when’s she going to show us her jugs?“
And that is most definitely all the news fit to uncover.
A crowd of an estimated 20,000 people convened in San ANTONIO, TEXAS on Friday to observe the tradition of live crucifixions to mark the occasion of Good Friday. Good luck to our local Democrats trying to separate Church and State in the Alamo City; ain’t gonna happen, hombre.