Ker-Chunk

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Irritating, isn’t it?

So that’s why, whenever I have to drive more than a few miles on U.S. concrete-paved roads, I arrive at my destination in a mood that can best be described as “Gimme that puppy, I’m gonna bite its fucking head off.”

Look, I understand the installation of concrete roads instead of ordinary (smooth) tarred roads.  I know that tarred roads wear out more quickly than concrete slabs, and I know that replacing broken concrete is easier / cheaper than resurfacing tarmac.

Yet I wonder how it is that South Africa — which is just as hot as Texas, and can have temperature fluctuations just as extreme — can get by with smooth tarred roads over similar long distances, carrying about the same weight of traffic, and yet their roads are, if anything, better than ours to drive on.

The reason for all this rage is that a couple of days ago I went looking for a new apartment located closer to New Wife’s place of work, and had to drive there and back after, it should be said, great success.  (Cliff Notes: much cheaper than Plano, acceptable compromises and a better kitchen than our current apartment.  We move on June 1.)

When I got home at the end of all this, I had driven back the dozen-odd miles along the Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk road, and the closer I got to home, the more I wanted to rub a cheese grater over my scrotum because New Wife has had to endure this torture for the past two years.  That’s 125 miles a week along the Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk roads, and in Sputum, her Fiat 500 with its pathetic excuse for suspension withal.

Small wonder she’s sometimes kinda grumpy at the end of the day.  I myself would be reaching for the puppy the minute I walked in the door.

What’s even more interesting is that Plano has started to lay tarmac over some stretches of its concrete roads, and I have to tell you that this is in no small part why I get into such a bate about the fucking concrete Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk roads — the contrast is unbelievable, and I have been known to drive somewhat out of my way just to enjoy the noiseless travel over tarmac.

I should also point out that the very first time I visited this country, back in 1982, I drove from New York City to New England, back to New York and thence to Disneyworld, over to New Orleans and back to NYfC, over a period of about 3-4 weeks.  I-95 north and south, and I-10 / whatever I took back to New York put me in a fearful mood, and every time I could dump the interstates and head along back (tarred) roads, I took the opportunity to do so.

Small wonder, then, that my honeymoon (with Wife #1, a youthful mistake anyway) turned out to be, shall we say, less than a resounding success.

There’s nothing like having a running argument over the Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk noise, for three full weeks, to doom a relationship.

I’m just lucky that New Wife is made of better stuff than I am, and I am horribly chagrined to have taken this long to improve her lifestyle.

10 comments

  1. Surely there must be an expert among commenters here, but I was under the impression that concrete slab construction is a thoroughly obsolete method. New highways seem to all be continuous poured concrete and have been for some time, to the extent that slab highways seem to be rare these days. Hell, they will probably be protected as historical landmarks pretty soon, like the old Route-66, much of which was built in slabs. The worst slab highway that I can recall was the stretch of I-55 in Arkansas between West Memphis and the Missouri line. Even the trucks drove the left lane to get some little relief because the slabs in the right lane were so tilted it was impossible to drive there. That stretch has been replaced in the last five years.

  2. Don’t get overly excited about that bit on putting down tarmac over the old concrete roads. We here in Michigan know that it is a temporary solution and degrades rapidly back to “ker chunkia”. You see, every joint or even crack on the concrete, soon causes a crack telegraphed up to the tarmac above it, and with MI winter thaw/freeze cycles, soon the tarmac also has even wider gaps and becomes kerchunkee once again (or more like Ker Thumpia).

    So, after dodging the problem for 70 years, some major interstate highways are now in the process of complete removal of all concrete and a full thickness tarmac road is put in place over well bedded and graded base. Will it last? Who knows, but at least no more ker chunks at this moment.

    The correct question is why TX is not doing this as standard. Your weather is nowhere as severe as ours and a properly bedded and laid blacktop (tar MacAdam if you please) should last for a very long time.

    Glad to hear you and the Mrs. have found better digs, hopefully with much more secure gun storage space. Don’t forget to update the “send me stuff mail address” too.

    Cheers

    1. Freeze/thaw cycles are not the only causes of vertical motion under roadbeds. Here in deepest, darkest South Texas we have drought/flood cycles that do the same thing. Our clay soil expands and contracts significantly with moisture content; during droughts cracks about 2″ wide crisscross our Victoria clay lawns every 2 to 4 feet. The vertical motion is of similar magnitude but without the cracks.

      Asphalt roads can develop cracks that leak even modest rains preferentially to the soil under the crack. Now the road bed has large expansion where it’s wet, none where it isn’t. The immediate result is a pothole which puddles water, expands the clay even more than the crack did, and the pothole clunk is damaging to a car’s suspension, not just to the driver’s hearing.

      Corpus Christi city streets are being reworked using concrete to replace asphalt. A good idea? Check with the City Engineer in about 10-15 years.

  3. from my traffic engineering classes, generally asphalt is cheaper to install but doesn’t last as long. Concrete typically is more expensive to install but it is supposed to last longer. Asphalt definitely provides a smoother ride. I’m sure that also has an effect on vehicle maintenance on the suspension systems of cars and trucks.

    Good luck with the move.

    1. Asphalt is also more prone to a wear pattern that creates a tramline effect that is much more noticeable in a car with a narrower wheelbase ( such as your Fiat ). These valleys become visible in a light rain. Extreme wear is always worse in the right ( travel ) lane because that’s where the heavy trucks are supposed to be. Concrete is less malleable and wear trends to make the surface smoother ( even slick in the extreme) but it is severely hampered by the need to add expansion joints at regular intervals ( Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk-Ker-Chunk)

      1. Build a good road base with the right gradation of gravel and this isn’t a problem. rarely have I seen the “tram lines” that you speak of in my 40+ years of driving. My degree in Civil Engineering sufficiently covered advantages and disadvantages of various building materials for roads, bridges and buildings.

  4. I’m guessing (in the complete absence of actual information) that South Africa has a relatively limited number of ginormous 18-wheelers pounding the pavement to death. If the roadbed isn’t sufficiently deep and well-prepared, the overwhelming majority of road damage will come from the massively-loaded semi-trucks chewing up the road. To base vehicle taxes on maximum gross weight would be a more fair way to assess for the damage done by vehicles, but given the lobbying done by the trucking industry to avoid any liability for the damage that will never happen. EV’s don’t even begin to pay their share…something like your wife’s Fiat basically does zero measurable wear to a highway.

    Take a look at the construction of the old Roman roads…the roadbed was prepared up to 6 feet in depth prior to the application of the road surface, which was basically cobbles. They’ve lasted through millenia of freeze/thaw cycles, and about the only re-surfacing they’ve needed has been to rotate the cobblestones every hundred years or so.

    Interstate highway construction here in the US prepares the roadbeds to a minuscule depth, which results in premature failure from both traffic pounding and weather. It’s basically designed that was so that every 20 years or so they fall apart and require re-paving. Think of it as corporate welfare for the construction companies and you won’t be far off.

  5. Here in Aridzona, where tenps have been known to reach hellish levels on a regular and extended basis, and where our asphalt has been known to melt in the summer sunshine (no lie!) we strayed away from some asphalt roads, but some years ago they began laying a rubberized asphalt, which offers a smoother ride, even at freeway speeds, and a quieter ride. My understanding is that it is relatively less expensive to repair when needed. The problem since they began using this product, is getting ADOT (Arizona Dept of Tribulation) to get off their dead *sses and make the necessary repairs in a timely basis (hopefully before someone dies in one of the potholes).

  6. The Ker-Chunk is specifically designed to mimic the clippity-clop of the horses as our ancestors rode the covered wagons west to settle this great country. It is our heritage and legally mandated as a method to respect the founders of this great country. Trust an immigrant to complain about it. (/s)

  7. I always assumed this was tyre and rim size dependent. I have a mountain bike with 29 inch wheels. The idea was that it ignored/ smoothed out bumps vs the regular size mountain bike wheels (26 inch?)
    My pickup truck has 19″ rims for summer, and 16″ rims for winter. Same overall tyre circumference. The winter setup is smoother as there’s more air in the tyres vs summer performance.

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