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Spot the missing part(s):

Begging the question:  what is Schrodinger’s Swiss Army Knife?

Well, that would be the above, which contains every possible mini-tool except for the implement in its title.

And Victorinox is now party to this silliness.

I’m just glad I already possess a number of the original knives, all of which contain one or more blades.

And anyone who thinks that a Swiss Army knife could be used as a weapon is a fucking moron.

Mind you, that razor-sharp mini-saw would sure leave a mark if dragged across some scrote’s face…

Just sayin’.

12 comments

  1. Either the wrong picture or a debunking of a fake news story.
    I can clearly see BOTH blades. One of them is even magnified by the magnifying glass.
    BTW not just the saw can do serious damage, the can opener is bad ass too.

  2. Never owned one and never will. Even at 10 years old I recognized the silliness of the whole thing.

    Serious, a 2″ “saw”? And a shitty microscopic scissors?

    I carry a “knife” every dam day because many days I need to cut stuff on the fly. If I need a saw I have plenty of real ones and the same for scissors and I don’t carry either. I mean really, the thing has cheap plastic scales….and they’re clown red! How more obvious could it be?

  3. Well, you were close to the correct usage of said saw. It is not for the scrote’s face, but for the scrotum (assuming it has one).

    Proud to say I just gifted the larger Swiss Officer model to my grandson on his graduation from HS. Still have a nice stash of various models in original boxes for the next 5 grands in sequence. Carry on.

  4. I carry a SAK every day. Of course, it’s not one of those silly big-ass kitchen sink things, but a Tinker, with everything you need and nothing you don’t. 😉

  5. I wouldn’t mind the removal of the knife blade if they were going to replace it with a Model 1911A1 bushing wrench

    1. Wilson Combat made something like that years ago but it seems to have been discontinued.

  6. I don’t see why everyone’s getting so verklempt about this.

    Europe, and specifically Britain, has stupid fooking knife laws.

    Victorinox is simply building a product for that market.

    There is no indication that they will stop producing pocket knives for the slightly-more-free world.

  7. I’m a strong proponent of using the correct tool for the job at hand. …..and in my experience, all those little toy implements are never the correct tool. You might be able to get away with a one tine use in an emergency, but only at the expense of destroying whatever it is you were attempting to resolve. It’s better than nothing, but only slightly. Whatever you do with those things will need to be redone properly when you get back to civilization. So, my cars always contain a Bag with a carefully selected group of proper tools. spare bulbs and fuses. ( …. and usally a Leatherman type tool )

  8. I’ve had a Swiss Army Knife in my pocket since I was 14. I have a moderate sized one with the blades, saw, scissors etc. The scissors are very useful despite what Ghost says above. The file can be handy.

    Victorinox came out with this several months ago to satisfy the British market. Sure it’s silly but the company meeting their demands is a smart business decision. Adapt to the market or your sales will decrease. Someone else will certainly fill the void. They should change the scales to the Union Jack so that everyone knows from a distance that it is a neutered product.

    1. What, you think they used the normal definitions for those words?

      Diversity = different colors, same opinions
      Equity = neither equal nor fair
      Inclusion = only of the right people

      1. Mark, you’re spot on.

        I want the bumper sticker “celebrate my diversity, yours sucks” but that might get my truck vandalized

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