Why Rejuvenation?

Here’s one that got me thinking:

Scientists have found ancient [herpes] viruses locked inside Neanderthal bones that are 50,000 years old — and experts could be set to recreate them.  The team who made the discovery now plan to try and synthesize these viruses to see how they compare to modern ones.

Clearly, the modern, largely-incurable herpes viruses aren’t enough for us to deal with.

Okay, let’s have them explain themselves:

“These Jurassic Park-like viruses could then be studied for their reproductive and pathogenic traits and compared to present-day counterparts.” 

Actually, no.  The last fucking thing we need is to find out how they reproduced themselves.  Why?  Because once we do, the shit will be able to reproduce itself.

Wuhan, anyone?

The hell with that.  I’m very supportive of Scientific Curiosity and all that, but sometimes you just have to draw the line.

And frankly, if we’re going to bring old stuff back to life, what’s wrong with resurrecting the mid-1950-era Mercedes 300 SC?

They could be made in all pretty colors, with- or without soft tops, etc., etc.

Oh wait, I forgot:  that’s engineering, not !Science!

Still, I put it to my Readers that having the world flooded with fine 300 SCs would be far more beneficial to life than doing the same with a 50,000-year-old pox.

Feel free to propose other extinct things you’d like to bring back to the modern world;  but I have to warn y’all, I got fibs on crucifixion.

12 comments

  1. In America, those oddballs are fond of claiming a spot by saying “I got dibs!”

  2. Things to bring back?

    Winchester Model 70 made in New Haven CT. Open a custom shop so we can get chamberings that we want instead of what the marketing department thinks we want
    the pillory or stocks for misdemeanor crimes.
    The pillory or stocks with half rotten produce $5 a shot, funds go to the victims of the criminals. Felons wold be put in the stocks or 3 time misdemeanor earners.
    Regular rifle matches and instruction at local clubs on the scale of Little League baseball and pop warner football for kids and adults
    Attractive flight attendents

  3. Speaking of restoration, look what this guy did with what was essentially a “barn find” of an old Asahi Optical (Pentax) SMC-Takumar 150mm/f4 lens:

    https://www.pentaxforums.com/forums/211-vintage-cameras-equipment/467739-takumar-resurrected.html

    I’d swear from the pictures that he was showing two different lenses. I’ve got the 200mm/f4 version of this lens I found used for $25, along with a 28mm, 55mm, and my treasured 135mm/f2.5. I’m willing to swear that the contrast and color rendering of these old (1960’s era) lenses is superior to that of modern glass, and the emphasis on fast lenses (no high digital ISO available then) led to better design.

    The nifty thing about old Pentax lenses is that, with an M42-to-K-mount adapter, they can be used on current digital SLR’s, albeit manually (you have to focus and adjust the aperture yourself). Since I grew up shooting fully-manual film cameras back in the 60’s that’s not an issue for me.

    What I really find impressive is that somebody will spend the time and effort in tearing one of these down, cleaning and lubricating it, and then using it again. He took what was basically a $9 lens and turned it into a $50 lens (that being what they usually go for) with probably only 20 or 30 hours of intensive labor. Let’s see, $40 net divided by 20 hours works out to (hmm, carry the zero…) a whopping $2/hour. But that’s entirely irrelevant since he’s doing it for the love of restoring it, not the money. I admire that much like people who restore old firearms.

  4. Nope. None of this bringing back old versions of diseases. Not while people like Anthony Fauci believe they can play semantic games with concepts like gain of function research in order to wash their hands of responsibility when a global pandemic strikes.

    Sorry !Science!, your ranks are filled with the grossly irresponsible and as such, this kind of dangerous science needs to be set aside for a time until you purge your ranks of incompetent politicians and career bureaucrats. When you do that, you can have your deadly pathogens back to experiment with.

  5. Since I’m a chemical, not a mechanical, this thought is probably built on a combination of ignorance and wishful thinking. But since this is the internet, it’ll fit right in.

    That 300 SC was endowed with all the virtues of 1950’s luxury cars plus being saddled with all the defects engineers couldn’t design out 70 years ago. Is there a reasonable route to retaining the former and eliminating most of the latter? Maybe.

    The cars from 70 years ago were body on frame, as are today’s light trucks. Let’s start with a decent light truck frame and drive train, say an F-150, and make minimal modifications to fit under the 300 SC body. We’re working with Ford truck guys, so redo the body in aluminum and the interior with modern materials where it would be an improvement; keep the old materials where it wouldn’t be. Add modern safety features unobtrusively because I’d like to improve the survivability of wife and kids in case of an accident. Since it’s an F-150 under the skin, both diesel and gas would be options.

    Would it sell? Are there enough olde pharts that would enjoy a two seater we could enter and exit painlessly? Enough youngsters in two person families who would like to cruise comfortably? Maybe.

  6. I’m very sceptical about bringing that herpes virus back to life and experimenting with it. I think just studying the virus’s DNA will suffice. Viral DNA or RNA is pretty simple. Comparing it to modern herpes should be sufficient. And we don’t need some arrogant virologist playing “gain of function” games with any more diseases.

    Sticking with biology, they’re working on bringing back Mammoths. I’ve got no problem with that. The mammoths may not be too happy about it, though, and my dark side can’t wait for the YouTube videos of idiots like the ones who get too close to Bison, getting tossed into the air by a pair of huge tusks at the business end of a mammoth!

    Lots of non biological things to bring back, and good suggestions abov. I’ll have to think on that.

  7. Things to bring back: the 1967 VW Beetle and the 1972 VW Camper. The Panama Canal Zone as a USAnian territory rather than a Chinese vassal state. Halter tops.

    I’m sure I’ll think of more.

  8. “…synthesize the virus…”
    Brings to mind the line from Jurassic Park: Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.

    Which applies to basically everything that EcoHealth has been doing for the past 10 years. Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui eos sunt.

  9. I’d like to restore long-term thinking in American industry and business. Get rid of “just in time” delivery and allow for buffers in case something is delayed. Stop focusing on the next quarter’s earnings and stock price.

    Bring back wood or wood laminate rifle stocks. Tired of plastic fantastics.

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