Month: June 2024

Here Comes Another One

Advice, Freaks & Loonies

It will help if while reading this piece, you hum the tune to the above title (as recorded by Monty Python on their final album).

It was only last week when I slotted this little item into a News Roundup:

…and here’s an update, with a younger member of the Nostradamus Tribe being a little more cagey, timewise:

A man who has been dubbed the ‘living Nostradamus’ claims ‘the worst is yet to come’, suggesting the world is teetering on the edge of WWIII.  

Athos Salomé, 36, who is a trained parapsychologist from Brazil, is often referred to as a psychic due to the accuracy of his insights and predictions, after previously foreseeing the coronavirus pandemic, Elon Musk buying Twitter, now called X, and even Queen Elizabeth II’s death.

Now, as people worry about the escalation of conflicts and humanitarian crises, he warns that ‘a small incident’ could set off a series of terrifying events. 

Key phrase:  “trained parapsychologist” (one could be snarky and add “Brazil”, but if we’ve learned anything, it’s that these loons can pop up anywhere).

If these Nostradami actually worked as advertised, they wouldn’t be hammering on about global catastrophes — at least, I wouldn’t, if endowed with these magical powers.

I certainly wouldn’t be blathering on vaguely about nonsense like “And there shall be a great pestilence come upon the land” [at some unmentioned date, in some unmentioned country].

No, I would be ensconced in the Presidential Suite at the Hôtel de Paris in Monte Carlo, paying for my accommodation (not to mention more than a few unsavory indulgences) by plonking a grand or so on 27 at the Casino’s roulette wheel each night.  That’s at least a useful application of the magic power, and not providing fodder for some crappy newspaper’s This Week’s Things To Panic About! section.

But perhaps I’m being too dismissive.

Sarajevo, anyone?  As Bismarck once said, it will be just some damn thing in the Balkans… now that was an accurate prediction.

Just Another Day In Paradise

Africa

From sunny Seffrica:

A elderly British couple who were kidnapped from their South African home ‘may have been dismembered with their body parts sold to a witch doctor’, a court heard, as their devastated family accuse local cops of covering up the brutal ‘slaughter’ .

Pensioners Anthony Dinnis, 73, and Gillian Dinnis, 78, were attacked by a gang of three men armed with guns at their remote farm in Middlerus in KwaZulu-Natal’s Mooi River area, before disappearing without a trace last August.

Of course, Blacks murdering Whites in South Africa is not a crime in Nelson Mandela’s paradise — which, by the way, is when the luckless (and naïve) couple arrived in the country, lured no doubt by the low cost of living and sunny skies.

Now, almost a year on, two suspects who had worked on the couple’s farm as labourers and who were arrested last year in connection with the cruel murders have been released without charge – one of whom confessed that Anthony and Gillian were brutally butchered.

And the Seffrican cops, of course, are completely ineffective, either through lack of resources or indifference.

After all, what’s the point of investigating the thing?  It’s only a pair of old (White) immigrants.

Quote Of The Day

QOTD

From Andrew Ashworth:

“Last night I had dinner with my boss and his wife. It was a complete disaster. The wife asked me: ‘How many potatoes would you like?’ and I said: ‘I’ll just have one, thanks’. She said: ‘It’s all right, you don’t have to be polite,’ and I said: ‘OK then, I’ll just have one, you stupid cow’.”

Okay, it’s really just an old joke but it made me chortle.

Next Week: Armageddon

Elections, Mocking Furriners

…for the Brits, anyway, as they are going to vote the Communist Labour Party into power because reasons.

After Bill Clinton was elected President, I remember expressing my amazement to a friend that almost the very first thing he did was increase taxes.  My friend’s response was withering:  “Of course he raised taxes:  he’s a fucking Democrat, and that’s what they do.”

Now back over The Pond…

Here’s the opinion of the Greatest Living Englishman on the topic:

Anyone who thinks that Labour will behave in any way differently to what Clarkson says needs to jump off a cliff.  And in fact Labour may do worse, much worse.

I’m not taking any bets on that.