And speaking of dildos:
From the Woke News Desk:
...I know, I know: these roundups are meant to be bad news. And:
...and if ever there was a company that shouldn’t have done this nonsense at all...
...thus alienating all three of their hardcore LGBTOSTFU fans.
And in Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© News:
...just another moment of idiocy among thousands of hours of the same.
...hammering the point home, so to speak.
In The Great Cultural Assimilation Project© News:
...questions? Yes, you in the back? Ummm yes I think that being tossed out of helicopters at 500 feet above shark-infested waters may also be somewhat offensive to them.
...see above (and below).
...keyword: Massachusetts.
And in parallel news:
...sorry, Ramiro: finding Jesus and being regretful may help you later, just not with the Texas justice system right now. Adios, asshole.
Still on crime matters:
...wait, what was the middle bit, again?
In Election News:
...well okay, except:
...not that they would ever be bothered by any inconvenient laws, or anything. Still, let me be out there first: Biden Didn’t Kill Himself.
In Miscellaneous News:
...no link because mass vomiting.
And now, some truly 
(featuring EXTRA Kardashian!)
…ummm no. 
...if it hasn’t by now, Toots, it ain’t gonna.
And in Celebrity Gossip:
...and, according to her one-time boyfriend, sexually insatiable as well:
Who knew that about Winona Ryder?
And that’s all the news fit to complain about.
I don’t know what I’d do without your current news update; I certainly can’t find this on CNN.
Will Denmark tax farting vegans? Fair is fair!
Ms Ryder continues improved with age. Alway found her sexy.
Isn’t it convenient that the Democrats consider dropping Pedo Joe after most of the primaries so that their cult members won’t have a say in the new candidate. A replacement would be chosen by the “super” delegates and the racist Democrat death cult’s convention. Isn’t this how Commissar Sanders got ousted after receiving lots of popular support but Hillary Benghazi Clinton got nominated instead?
It’s a shame that modern science has saved the Kardashian clan from the ravaging affects of sexually transmitted diseases.
Nike deserves the Bud Light treatment for their child labor sweat shops and their support of Kapernick and company.
Denmark farmers need to make a delivery of manure to their parliament and bureaucrat office buildings.
Now lets get Trump into office and build better border security and begin deporting these illegal immigrants 24/7
“…featuring EXTRA Kardashian..”
.
You, sir, are a National Treasure.
While I had no idea concerning Winona Ryder’s (real last name Horowitz) tonsorial tendencies south of the border, any man with eyes quickly figured out that her cups runneth over.
Lithe brunettes with bountiful busts: life doesn’t get much better.
Imagine living in the small townhouse that is at 145 east 46th Street.. “yeah, we repair air conditioners now, but we used to be a dildo underwear factory.. just a little retooling.. now ya get a cold blast in the hooha.. just wait till these units get to rattling and shaking.. we’re why momma’s giving you a cold shoulder”
I’ll be here all week.. be sure and tip your waitresses!
As of yesterday it is now 14 states that Biden is locked into the ballots. Two of those are critical swing states. The only way out is an Article 25 or he has to die before the convention.