…and I think I can speak for all my Brit Readers, Stout Bulldogs that they are, when I say:
…as opposed to today’s shit show.
Edward Longshanks would have had them all hung, drawn and quartered by now.
Ah, the good old days.
Month: July 2024
Happy Birthday, America
Now go and light up some fireworks, eat some good ol’ Murkin food (tacos?) and have a good time in general.
Because in the not too distant future, we may have some work to do.
Or, more likely:
Just sayin’.
Ahead Of The Game
Yesterday I showed how wealthy people have been fleeing Illinois for greener pastures in Florida and such.
Now we have people in Britishland getting out even before the new Labour government is going to be swept to power with a massive majority (as seems likely). And why would they do so, you ask?
The wealthy are already fleeing Britain over fears about Keir Starmer’s tax raids, it was claimed today. It is the latest sign of anxiety about the prospect of a Labour government with potentially the largest majority in history.
Sir Keir has insisted that apart from closing specific tax loopholes, nothing in his manifesto requires additional tax rises for ‘working people’.
But critics say his plans cannot be delivered without unleashing tax hikes yet to be declared to voters.
A Socialist lying about his goals? Say it ain’t so. Clearly, the people most likely to be affected by Labour’s rapaciousness aren’t being fooled.
I have three friends Over There who are actively making plans to leave, for good. And no, they’re not especially wealthy ones, either — because as any fule kno, the only way to get serious tax receipts is to tax the middle class, and they are all in that category. (The working classes don’t have money, and the wealthy can afford to shield theirs.)
One is even looking at moving to the U.S., but alas he wants to do it legally, which will take years. (For reasons of honesty, he refuses to do the southern border swoop.) He may go through Canada first, but we’ll have to see.
I know of another guy — not a personal friend — who’s just walking away from his house because he suspects that Labour is going to increase “stamp duty” on property transfers and sales, so when he did the arithmetic he found that it would be easier just to forget about it. He’s just sold his company (a printing business), and from what I can gather, that moolah is already in an offshore tax haven.
Interesting times we live in, wot?
Let Freedom Ring
…or to be more specific, Let The Girls Swing. Some middle-aged tart thinks that British women should be more like their French counterparts when it comes to going topless:
British women, after all, still get remarkably hot and bothered over the concept of being ‘beach body ready’, as if the very idea of displaying the female form is inherently sexist or objectifying.
At that time, I had lived in France for 14 years and, in my view, British women rather overthink all this, while the French just get on with topping up their tans.
Let’s not even talk about American women’s attitude to the above topic. The Puritan spirit lives on…
As a red-blooded heterosexual man, I could easily smirk and urge Teh Wimmens to follow the suggestions of Miss Brick, because anyone familiar with these pages knows that I am an unashamed admirer of les seins impressionnants, as witnessed by my frequent paeans of praise for this part of the female anatomy as personified by proud breast-bearers such as Salma Hayek, Nigella Lawson, Carole Vorderman et al.
I think you get the picture(s).
I also know that there are the Fussy Ones out there — the people who might whine that if toplessness were to be confined to such as the above, everything would be dandy.
“But FFS Kim,” they say, “there are an awful lot of women out there who shouldn’t be displaying their uncovered frontage!”
I say this: if in the name of our Second Amendment freedoms I can put up with ugly-ass guns like Glock or H&K, then we men should be similarly accommodating to the occasional sight of, shall we say, less than ideal examples of womanly pulchritude.
In other words, to quote Derek Robinson, just relax and enjoy your problem. I also say that if we get the chance to see things like this:
…we should accept the fact that we will occasionally be exposed to this:
You may call it whatever you want, but I just think of it as
,,,and we all know how important that is, n’est ce pas?
In fact, for the month of July, all Caption Competitions will feature pictures of naked women. That’s how strongly I feel about it.
Movin’ On Up
…or rather, out. Reader Brad (who lives there) sends me these headlines from Illinois:
“But where,” you may ask, “is Headline #1?”
Well, you see, it deserves a place all by itself, because #2-5 are just the causes and consequences of #1. So here it is:
More than 87,000 people moved out of Illinois taking with them nearly $10 billion in income, according to the latest Internal Revenue Service data. For the last six years, the total lost adjusted gross income is more than $47.5 billion.
While 14,486 people moved to Illinois from California in 2022, bringing with them $1.5 billion in income, the latest IRS data shows 31,600 of those who left Illinois went to Florida, taking with them $4.1 billion dollars.
Total lost income out of Illinois because of outmigration was $9.8 billion in 2022. Last year’s IRS migration report found 105,000 fewer individuals, taking with them $10.6 billion. The year before that, nearly 101,000 people left Illinois, taking with them $8.5 billion.
That’s the ticket, folks: leave the poxy place and starve the bastards out.
Just remember, when you get to Florida, Texas etc., exactly why you bailed; and don’t vote for the same shit — that would be socialist politicians — in your new place.
Clueless
Also in my Inbox, this time from American Airlines:
Bearing in mind that I live in north Texas and have pretty much all the heat I can handle (and more), which garden spots can AA be pimping?
#1:
It’s also known for its crime and tourist ripoffs. Also, isn’t hurricane season just around the corner? Pass. Next:
#2:
Ah yes… NYfC in the summer heat. Always a pleasure, in a place whose crime and ripoffs make T&C look like a bunch of complete amateurs — and that was before all the recent silliness. As they say there, fuggeddabahdit. Next:
#3:
In Texas terms, going to Florida in summer is described as “out of the frying pan and onto the gas ring.” Thanks, but if I want heat and humidity, I can just step out onto my patio. And finally:
#4:
Yeah, thanks. If I want Mex street food, we’ve got a couple taco trucks that can be found the apartment parking lot every Friday and Saturday. And… Aztec ruins, in Mexico City? I thought the conquistadores kinda leveled them. But I could be wrong, as I may be wrong about Mex City’s crime rate.
Great promotion, American. You utter dicks.