Not As Advertised

It seems as though some over-achieving Brit students won a prize:

Three girls from an inner-city sixth form are heading to the US after securing the A-level results needed for their £1million Ivy League scholarships.

The bright trio passed their admissions tests with flying colours meaning Harvard and Princeton offered to fund the entire cost of their four-year education – for close to £350k each.

However, the final step of getting onto their courses rested on their A-level results – making for an anxious few months for the Newham Collegiate Sixth Form (NCS) pupils.

Yesterday it was confirmed that all three teenagers scored the grades necessary to study in the US – meaning they can now start preparing for the big move.

And the names of these hardworking girls?  Sally McKenzie, Julia Holbrooke and Heather Smith.

Nah, just kidding:

Tasneen Hossain, Feyisara Adeyemi, and Harmanpreet Garcha, all 18, were each awarded places at top universities in the States through a programme run by their East London school. 

You see, this is where the whole affirmative action thing poisons the well.  Yes I know, I have no doubt that these girls worked hard and got the results that enabled them to qualify.

But as any fule kno, the chances of Tasneen Hossain, Feyisara Adeyemi and Harmanpreet Garcha getting into an Ivy League university are going to be far better than if their names were Sally McKenzie, Julia Holbrooke and Heather Smith.

Because equity, you see, and Ivy Leagues are lousy with this foul pestilence.  So there’s always going to be that little niggle of doubt about whether they actually merited the scholarships over, say Sally McKenzie, Julia Holbrooke and Heather Smith (the latter automatically disqualified in the admissions process because White Privilege, you see).

Sadly, the joke is going to be on these girls, because Ivy League degrees aren’t worth a quarter of what they used to be.  As they will no doubt discover when they apply for any jobs outside academia.