Sexsomnia is a condition that causes people to engage in sexual activity while their brains are technically asleep. This can include masturbation, groping, sexual vocalisation and attempts to initiate sex with a partner.
Although sexsomnia is an uncommon condition, it’s unclear how many people suffer from the sleep disorder. It is believed to affect three times more men than women [I bet it does — K], however many people are unaware they suffer from the disorder; while others are ashamed to admit they have it.
Studies estimate that roughly seven percent of the global population experience it at least once, and many typically cannot remember what they did in deep sleep and many are ashamed of it.
Ashamed? Of an involuntary condition? What is the matter with these people?
Let’s be honest, here. “…roughly seven percent of the global population experience it at least once”, and let us assume, as with most distribution studies of this type, that in a subset of that 7%, a vast number of these incidences are around the “once” frequency.
Which, in a global population of (say) 5 billion adults is about as close to zero as makes no difference.
In other words: it ain’t gonna happen to you.
And if it does, if you’re in bed with (say) Paige Spirinac or Salma Hayek as opposed to Hillary Clinton or Nancy Pelosi (sorry), it’s more of a blessing than a curse. Or with your wife or girlfriend, or any woman who, on experiencing these nocturnal gropings, is not going to accuse you of rape (for, lest we forget, an involuntary/unconscious act).
I leave it to my individual Lady Readers as to their response to this hypothetical situation — knowing some of them as I do, my guess is that they will greet excuses of “But it’s my sexsomnia!” with scorn if not actual violence, bless ’em.
Or they’ll get into the spirit of the thing and joyfully participate. [checks for pigs flying past the window]
The only reservation I have is with the research methodology. No way has this been observed, so to speak, in a controlled laboratory setting; rather, of course, it depends on respondents’ experiences and memories — and when it comes to les questions sexuelle, most people lie like Clintons.
So ignore all the above; and if you do suffer from sexsomnia, relax and enjoy your problem.
That’s just a convenient excuse for being caught getting handsy.
“I couldn’t help it, I was asleep!”
There was an episode of _Mad About You_ in which her husband banged his wife while he was asleep. He remembered nothing. *She* remembered everything and was *very* happy about it.
Imagine Helen Hunt telling you that she bonked you in your sleep.
“And you didn’t wake me UP????”