And speaking of partying:
...given the condition of the average boy’s bedroom, no wonder she got sent to jail, endangering their health like that.
...if you’re going to sell cut-price airfares and super-cheap beer, can a horde of drunken Brits be far behind?
In the No Shit, Sherlock department:
...you don’t say. Next experiment: to prove that water is wet.
More news from The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:
…
In Political News:
...and rightly so.
And even better:
…
Just don’t stop with Education, okay? [produces long list of candidates] Or else call ol’ Javier Milei in Argentina for his list.
...if by some magic every Trump ballot vote in Texas were to disappear into thin air, she’d still only come in fourth. And “Beto”? Who he?
...I’m just surprised that this happened where it did. Keyword: NYfC.
From the Police Blotter:
...what’s amazing about this was how long it took her to get caught. Keyword: Illinois.
...okay, you can stop that derisive laughter now. Just so you have some left for this one:
...keyword: Thailand.
We interrupt this news for an editorial comment:
WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS?
To continue:
In the Dept. of Education:
...let’s hear it from the Teachers Union. What, nothing?
And in no-link 
...it’s just been way too long since we featured Salma on these pages, so here we are:
...I’ll say they are.
And that’s all the globular news we’re going to look at.
Trump would pull out of Paris climate treaty again.
A frustrated Paris climate treaty could not be reached for comment.
Re: comeuppance for pedos – it’s the 40th anniversary of an OG Dad Of the Year: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hPDAvVu52Y
Da Judge, on giving Pops probation: “Prison would serve no useful purpose.”
Amen. And amen. I’d like to believe Gary Plauche never had to buy himself another beer for the rest of his life.
Blake Lively rude to a *reporter*? I approve.
Never ceases to amaze me how people complain when they get exactly what they vote for…