So from a nostalgic look back at the past, we return (very unwillingly) to the bullshit of today:
...I would suggest one-way tickets to Palestine (specifically Gaza) for all the above, but no doubt I would be labeled Krool & Hartless. And speaking of those Muslim assholes:
...and you can quit that unseemly sniggering now.
From Airstrip One:
...like all socialist/Communist governments, they are happiest when persecuting their own citizens.
...as if persecuting the “Right-wing thugs” wasn’t enough, now they’ll jail you for calling some termagant bitch a cunt.
On a lighter note:
...couldn’t find any virgins, huh?
And in Parish News:
...hardly surprising, considering that the DNC are a bunch of godless assholes.
In Automotive News:
…
And in The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:
...and of course, he’ll no doubt be released again so he can ummmm post hateful messages on Facebook. That’ll settle his hash.
...he’s not going to be deported or jailed, either. You heard it here first.
In Travel News:
...and in other news, water is wet, Custer didn’t make it out alive, sharks are dangerous, etc.
And in Nature News:
...with a very simple solution: 
And it’s time for some silly 
And as we stroll down 
:
...welcome back, me old darling; it’s been far too long since we saw you last. And by the way, “balloons” isn’t too bad a nickname for you.
And on that bouncy note, we end the news roundup.
I swear that there’s a naked woman depicted in the rear green compartment of the aircraft under the wing. Some artist having a little fun, no doubt.
A Lady has to take a bath …
Like Achmed the Dead Terrorist said, “Location, location, location.”