Month: August 2024

Random Totty

Gratuitous Chick Pics

This is Tina O’Brien, who plays yesterday’s totty Lucy Fallon’s mother (!!!) on Coronation Street.  (She is, by the way, only eighteen or so years older than Lucy in real life, so technically at least, the age difference isn’t that close– especially for the working-class Corrie.)  Nevertheless:

And as an architect might say, the rear aspect is not too unpleasant either:

Lovely.

But as the old saying from Alabama goes:  “With a Momma like that, you shoot yer Daddy and make yer own brothers and sisters.”

I report, you decide.

Stumped

Friends and Family

We had Doc Russia and his exquisite wife over for dinner last Saturday, and as always, a really good time was had by all, what with funny stories, jokes, lengthy discussions on interesting topics, all enhanced by one of New Wife’s excellent cooking choices (roast pork nom nom nom) and shall we say a sufficiency of booze.

One conversation was really interesting, and it revolved around the question:  “If you had $3,000 spare, what would you buy?”

The immediate stipulation (made by Mrs. Doc Russia and endorsed by New Wife) was “No guns”, which stopped both spouses in their tracks.

It’s not that we have all we desire — far from it — and we could spend a lot more than three grand on, for example, a new car.  But both Doc and I have no actual need for a lot of things (outside guns).

In bygone times, I might have been seduced by the acquisition of a watch, say this lovely Longines Equestrian piece for New Wife:

…except that while she thinks it’s a lovely watch, she’s perfectly happy with the one she has (Olivia Burton Floral, $140) and sees no reason to own another, at any price.

As do I, because having acquired my Tissot Heritage manual, I see no reason ditto.


(I should point out that the above costs less than $500, and since getting it my desire to own any other watch has, amazingly, disappeared.)

I should point out that the question stumped both Doc and Mrs. Doc as well.  She talked about jewellery, being a woman, but although also a woman, New Wife has no interest in any of that stuff (“I own enough, and don’t want any more.”)  I am sure as hell not in the market for that crap, either.

Well, if not a watch or jewellery, then what?

A few decent knives?  Honestly, no.  As much as one could never have too many knives (or guns), I can honestly say I can’t see spending that amount on bladed stuff because my modest knife collection is perfectly adequate for all my needs and wants (see sample below).


(that’s my “Crossing America” selection)

The “no gun” restriction was proving to be a pain in the ass, but in the end, I settled for a vacation for New Wife and myself, in essence deciding to buy memories.  A 10-day trip to, say, Montana’s Glacier National Park or the Bitterroot Mountains:

Or (if we wanted to leave the country), there’s always the option of seven days in Montreal or Quebec City — I know, I know, but she’s never been to either place, and I love Montreal.

Both the above would cost around the $3,000 amount, and would leave us with a treasure trove of lovely scenery and fine dining.

Have to say, though, it sure would be hell not to be able to buy that Colt Single Action Army:

Anyway, what say you, O My Readers?  On what would you spend three grand, assuming guns were off the table?

Better Or Worse?

Lifestyle, Technology

I suppose enough time has passed since cell phones became cheap and therefore ubiquitous to ponder the question:  is life better with cell phones?  Denise Van Outen thinks not:

Denise Van Outen reckons smartphones have killed the fun of the hedonistic ’90s as revellers’ antics are now being recorded instead of remembered.

The 50-year-old actress and telly host made her name as one of the ballsiest women on TV more than a quarter of a century ago – partying with the likes of Sara Cox and Zoe Ball.

But the mum-of-one is now lamenting the loss of the ‘Cool Britannia’ decade – and blames the likes of Apple for sucking the joy out of life.She blasted: “We never had access to everything on our smartphone. So, you’d go out and you’d just be in the moment and really enjoy it. I remember going to the big festivals like Glastonbury and Reading and you wouldn’t have your phone with you, you wouldn’t be videoing anything.

“I think people are starting to see now that smartphones can be a hindrance and stop people actually enjoying themselves.”

“And I think we’re gradually getting to a stage where a lot of people… for example, if you’re going to a party – are putting on invites that it’s a ‘No phone policy’.

I dunno.  I find myself hopelessly conflicted about the whole cellular phone business.  Never mind an early adopter, I put off buying one of the things for years, until Connie actually forced me into getting one.  So I had a Nokia flip phone for years until my kids finally shamed me into getting a smartphone.

But maybe that’s just me.  As someone who guards his privacy fiercely (I know, this blog yadda yadda yadda), I don’t like being at someone else’s beck and call, and at least the advent of caller ID made things bearable because I could decide whether or not to take the call.

And cell phones — at least the smart ones — put in an appearance quite long after I’d semi-retired;  I cannot imagine having one in a workplace environment, and finding out that no matter where I happened to be, I was still in the office.

Ugh.

That said, there have been times that being connected to the outside world has had its advantages — a couple of emergencies, helping the kids out of a jam, etc. — so yes, there’s that.  And I can see that for some jobs (e.g. realtor) cell phones have been a tremendous help to productivity.  I remember going to the airport during the early 1990s (when I did most of my business travel) and feeling sorry for those souls who were glued to pay phones (remember them?), contacting clients, the office, family etc. in those few minutes before takeoff.  For them — the people whom Woody Allen in a rare moment of actual humor termed “connectivity assholes” — there’s no doubt that the cell phone has been a boon.

I remain unconvinced, however, that the conveeeenience of the cell phone has been that much of an improvement to society.  And I resent like hell the intrusiveness of the things, enabling the outside world to contact me whether or not I feel like being contacted at all, let alone by people I have no wish to communicate with (politicians, pollsters, scam artists etc.)

I’m not a Luddite by any stretch, by the way.  I embraced email, for example, with a vengeance and to this day I prefer to communicate by that method instead of a phone call.

But I’m a reluctant user of the phone — any phone, not just cell phones, mind you — so don’t expect me to sing its praises.

And the lovely Denise has that part right:  going out is a much better experience without a cell phone.  We all used to make fun of Japanese tourists who experienced their entire trip through the lens of their Pentax.

Now, of course, we are all Japanese, who have to record our every experience lest we forget it.

What bollocks.

Best 3 Views, Texas Version

3 Inexplicable Things

The three things a Texas boy likes to see the most?

  • The “Welcome to Texas” road sign at the Oklahoma border
  • The “BBQ” sign on any restaurant while traveling
  • The sight of a naked woman standing at the foot of your bed, pulling off your cowboy boots.

I don’t know what people from other states enjoy seeing, so feel free to enlighten me.

Blind Pigs, Etc.

Men & Women

Here’s an interesting story, and — you may all reach for the smelling salts now — it’s a topic on which I actually agree with Piers Morgan.

Celia Walden believes that “every woman” should have a male friend – but her husband Piers Morgan disagrees.

The 48-year-old revealed that the battle she’s fought to maintain close connections with men she cares about has been fiercely opposed by TalkTV star Piers, who insists they want sex. She clarified: “Full disclosure: my husband doesn’t like me having friends of the opposite sex.

“Like throw pillows, I’ve had to fight for every one I possess. He’s convinced (like so many men) that any straight man is only using ‘the old friendship ruse’ to try to sleep with me.”

Celia took a different approach, telling the publication she believes male pals might be like “husbands”, but they come totally free from “the sex or the resentment”.

No, they don’t.

I don’t trust men around women at the best of times — other than close friends and family — and it has nothing to do with jealousy or trust, either.

Here’s what I know.  At several times in her life, a woman gets to be emotionally vulnerable.  She’s feeling depressed, or she and hubby Had Words, or maybe she’s going through one of those “What about MY movie?” episodes… whatever, she’s fragile.  Men sniff that out because that’s what men do.  And at that point, all good intentions, firm resolutions and all that will disappear, and the ripe peach is plucked.  Add half a bottle of wine, and off you go.

She may hate herself right afterwards (or even during) the act, and hate Roger The Todger for being such an Absolute Bastard For Taking Advantage Of Her.

[insert frog and scorpion fable here]

But of course it’s too late, and to use the Afrikaans expression, the bullet has gone through the church and there’s no getting it back.

And just so we know what’s going on here, this is Celia Walden (48):

 

…and here she is with her total twat of a husband:

 

I wouldn’t trust other men around her, either, no matter how “platonic”.  Like I said, I know exactly where Morgan’s coming from, and I agree.

I still want to emulate Clarkson, though, and punch him in the face.