Grown-Up Sippy Cups

Guy Stuff

This is a silly topic to discuss, but whatever.  Even though I am by no means triskaidekaphobic, it’s nevertheless Friday the fucking 13th, so here we go.

Back when I worked in an office, I always used a coffee cup with a lid, because knocking an open cup over your PC keyboard was not one of life’s pleasantries, both in terms of the actual mess, and the hassle involved in cleaning the gunk out from under the keys.  Likewise soft drinks:  never a can, always a bottle with the screw-off top.

It’s a habit I’ve carried into my private life too, not only for all the spill containment, but also because these thermal cup thingies keep my coffee hot in case I forget to drink it quickly.  (I’ve talked about this topic before, under different auspices, but note the El Cheapo Magellan thermal cup I mention in passing.)

But it appears that this is no longer enough.  Advancing age has brought with it advancing clumsiness, and the problem with all these wretched thermal cup thingies (as you will see) is that very few of them have a screw-on lid — they all, even the nosebleed stuff like Yeti, have a simple press-in lid with a rubber gasket to hold the lids in place should the thing be knocked over.

And alas, with continuous use do the rubber gaskets deteriorate and loosen their grip, which means that if you do knock your adult sippycup over, the result is the same as if you’d just been using a regular plastic glass filled with the drink and (if necessary) ice:  a veritable flood of sticky liquid all over the floor.

Which is what happened to me the night before last, when in trying to move my tall Magellan sippycup over so I could see the beloved face of New Wife, I knocked the fucking thing off the side table and yea did the lid come off the cup, emptying the contents of ice and OJ all over the frigging carpet.

So yesterday was spent visiting various retail establishments, trying to find a container with a screw-on lid that wasn’t the size of a Thermos flask and resembled more a coffee cup, like the Magellan.

Total failure — and I went to Academy, Cabela’s and finally, Wally World, where I got what I was sorta-looking for, except that it’s tall and skinny rather than short and squat.

It’s also too capacious, at 16oz where I was looking for something in the 10-oz-12oz range.  But at some point one has to resign oneself to what the world actually provides rather than what the world should provide.

Earlier on I did find (and purchase) one such thing with acceptable dimensions and the proper screwtop from Cabela’s, but it’s so fugly that I was worried that New Wife would forbid its use in the public domain, and confine it to doing duty as my night-time cold-water source on the bedside table.  Surprisingly, she agreed that it’s kinda fugly, but likes its patriotic theme.  So she agreed to let me use it.

(Yes, she’ll be becoming a U.S. citizen as soon as the DHS/State Department/whoever gets their collective ass in gear.)

All this could have been avoided, of course, were I just to apply a leetle care in the handling of coffee cups — I could use actual china cups or ceramic mugs like civilized people do, and not have to look like an overgrown child with an expensive fucking metal sippycup.  But that’s the world I live in, and so it goes.

Anyway, having said all that, I’m off to make myself another cuppa in the tall black thing.  And by the way, it works really well at keeping its contents hot — actually, a little too well, as my scalded tongue will attest.  I might just go for the Patriotic Barrel instead… alert the media!

If I get too irritated by these two replacements, or if New Wife Puts Her Foot Down With A Heavy Hand© after all, they will be sent off in disgrace to live in our travel trunk, which we break out when heading for an open-road adventure and style is not a prerequisite.  They will join the regiment of other utensils which have been found wanting.

Whereupon the whole bloody search for the impossible sippycup dream will resume and my irritation, never far below the surface, will explode once more, to the consternation of New Wife and the chortles of my Readers.

You bastards.

19 comments

  1. with a combination of gen. myasthenia gravis and insulin-dependent diabetes (as a result of removal of ~2/3 of my pancreas – not to say I don’t have a sweet tooth as well), I’ve found, over the past ten years, that there’s just as much chance of knocking over or losing my grip on the handle of a standard (narrow-base) coffee cup as there is of knocking over or losing my grip on a large “sippy cup”; at least there is far less liquid to sponge/mop up when I do so.

    1. I was just diagnosed with myasthenia gravis back in April and am still trying to dial the meds in. Spending lots of time reading with one eye closed, if that sounds familiar. I’ve observed a certain fatigue-related clumsiness, as well. Just another thing, I guess.

  2. Can’t remember the last time I knocked over a drinking vessel.
    But, I have a lidded vessel that I use in my vehicle because nothing is nastier than drinking material when it collects in the bottom of the cup holder in the console.

    It’s a screw on type lid with a gasket and a sliding door for drinking through. And it’s a pain to clean because of the gasket and all the “convolusions” of the under side of the cup lid. I don’t like it.

    My solution now, to the drinking on the go problem, is the same as it was 40 years ago when vehicles had no cup holders. I do without. That’s right, I don’t remember the last time I took drinking material with me in a vehicle and so far I have not suffered.

    Regarding keeping coffee hot. There is no good solution other than giving said coffee the attention it is due, and just drink the shit and get it over with. LOL Otherwise, drink it cold.

  3. I’ve had good luck with various sizes of Bubba brand stuff available at Walmart. My current one is an 18 oz mug that fits in my car’s cup holder, but I also have a 44 oz one for water at home.

    I know that tastes vary, of course. Best of luck finding something that works for you.

  4. Shortly after the Yeti craze peaked, but before the Stanley craze began, the go-to for all company awards, gifts, incentives, etc. was Yeti branded coolers and mugs. I’ve received enough Yeti mugs from the various companies and contractors I work with that the wife actually started throwing them away. I tried telling her they were expensive and we should at least re-gift them, but in the trash they went. She’s obsessive with curing me of my pack-rat behavior, while at the same time incredibly blind to her own pack-rat behavior. I’ve banned her from the garage on account of that, and I’m not allowed in her sewing room.

    That said, outside of my morning coffee, I rarely use any of the insulated mugs. But the morning coffee is something I savor for several hours, so the mug is crucial to keeping the coffee warm.

  5. Love the Contigo cups. Excess capacity means you can fill it with bourbon to spice up your coffee. One issue with them is you should release the mechanism in the lid every couple washes and put it back on the cup half full of soapy water and shake the hell out of it. They develop a coffee leather that coats the inside of the top and can be quite unpleasant when it breaks free while you are drinking from it.

  6. Kim,
    I have this same exact contigo mug. You’re correct about the heat retention. I brew into it and keep the top off for 5-10 minutes before putting the lid on (if taking it in the car)
    One thing to pay attention to is that it is not cross-threaded when you screw the lid on. White shirt, first sip at church, stain down the front for the next two hours.

  7. I wish you’d stop crediting me with more of a vocabulary than I actually have. I had to look up “triskaidekaphobic,” FFS.

    Curiously, I’ve always found the thermal snap-on lids to be the exception to the rule.

    As an enthusiastic cook, I maintain a subscription to America’s Test Kitchen & always consult their equipment reviews when considering various purchases. I have their winner in that category, and it performs as well as they say it does.

  10. This sounds like what you were looking for, Kim…
    https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08KS52W5X/ref=sspa_dk_offsite_brave_1?aaxitk=a2e39439f814e0583b44d4df1f38840f&tqtoken=AgR4imjD9ETfmmql58QcLqz6s4CyExtBSd7eXt_TUKGuli4AGgABAAlyZWNpcGllbnQAC0FtYXpvbkFkc1RRAAEAEWF3cy1rbXMtaGllcmFyY2h5ACRiM2NlMjE3OS0wMzJhLTQ5NTAtOWFlZC00MTczZDMxZmNhMmEAXHKmumAuqRLAuC5MY0FX-0We-n-7GqGSFZXmsuXtK8nXMwFE6ZdgvB9GW5UIm1XAOZdwGsq1sNo1CUsWKigEwaKIcufeg2x0RRxOWasqBu_xQq-Lsv4Zx0btmnbBAgAAEAAdo_Js7N5LvMuvg6YdJDFLClH6YNT-Ii3cUcIwoXhN7U5rRDdfCVJo-_P-k49Lo2______AAAAAQAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQAAABvKBeU3x-w23WH_OCAKV7GC1FIXopuZC9or8kvlRHCr6R6HrkoM4MOkHLa4&th=1

  11. I use a TAL 26z tall travel mug, there is an 18z mug on WWorld dot com. Sent link via e-mail, in case you didn’t want commercial links in the comments.

  15. I have used the Contigo cups for years and find them perfect for my needs. They are the only ones whose lids I trust, as I can just throw it in my workbag which gets moved between several vehicles and carried while climbing on equipment. My 16oz keeps coffee pleasantly piping for 5 hours with cream and 7 for black coffee. Almond creamer gets used for my mid-shift drink as it doesn’t taste off after a couple hours in the cup. The late-shift coffee is black in a 16oz Thermos which is good for all day.

  17. Check Wally World again. Maybe on the web. I bought one with the screw top at Wally’s at coit/gen in plano.

    Sumbitch is pink though. All they had left of them.

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