From Kenny (with a little addition):
[insert Jayhawk/Missouruh/Okie/Soooeeeey joke here]
Month: September 2024
Monday Funnies
So off we go:
To round things off, so to speak, I understand that bikini pics are quite popular in these parts. Well, you asked for it:
Okay, that’s not really a bikini…
So get out there and spread the knees… I mean news.
Classic Beauty: Tallulah Bankhead
This post previously appeared last week, by mistake. Sorry. Put dead bats on my head. Cover me with honey and roll me on the ant heap. — Kim
When asked why she was leaving the New York theater business for Hollywood, the languorous Tallulah Bankhead is reputed to have said: “Fame, money and to fuck that divine Gary Cooper.”
Well. she achieved all three goals, and was scandalous in a time when scandal was assiduously avoided by the studio bosses. And her life… oy, what a life. (Read all about it here.) And then there was her beauty.
Thise eyes… that heavy-lidded, sleepy look… yikes. (And yes, she does resemble Bette Davis, and in more ways than one: they played pretty much the same roles, Tallulah on stage, and Davis in the movie versions.) And her posture? Someone once said of her that she didn’t sit in a chair or on a couch; she looked as if she’d been poured into it.
And let’s not even talk about what she did to a bed (both in pictures and in real life).
I find her fascinating, and I’m not the only one.
Exquisite. And let’s not even talk about that voice.
That Garage Thing Part 3: The Moderns
After the last two chapters in this series (Part 1 and Part 2) I can already hear the rumblings:
“Okay Kim, enough blathering on about overpriced old cars that will massively deplete your lottery winnings, and end up spending more time in the shop than in your garage. What four cars would you pick if you could only buy a 2024/25 model?”
Actually, it’s not a difficult question. Here they are, with a few words of explanation for each, and to make life simpler I’m not going to go into the luxury/supercar category because very few of them actually get me going. Each of these are cars that just about anyone could buy with just a small lottery win, or even a large performance bonus.
Acura Integra Type S
It’s the adult version of the Honda Civic R; same 300+hp engine, stick shift (!!!!) but with a little more luxury and a more comfortable ride. And Honda reliability. What’s not to like?
Mazda MX-5 Miata RF
Everyone’s favorite sports car. This one is for New Wife, who still misses her old MGB GT dreadfully. Also note the stick shift (!!!!) which means I wouldn’t mind driving it too… and having this means I wouldn’t be tempted into a Porsche Boxster or Cayman ($$$$). Less than half the price (and running costs) of a Porker, and pretty much the same amount of fun. Perfect.
Mercedes GLA 250 AWD
Call this my “guns ‘n groceries” car. Basically, it’s a classier version of a VW Golf (interior dimensions are amazingly similar), but it’s a Merc. Sadly, it’s not available with a stick shift [boo hiss] but I can slum it, I guess. New Wife would be driving it more than I would, anyway
Toyota Tacoma TRD 
New Wife has absolutely forbidden me to get a truck, any truck, ever. But I bet she wouldn’t mind me having one to fetch mulch for her rose garden at that new mansion instead of smelling up her Merc. Also, from my perspective, it’s pretty much a Hi-Lux, FFS, and it has a stick shift (!!!!). And if the things are good enough for a Somali warlord…
…feel free to guess where I’m going with this line of thought.
Putting together this last list was more fun than I thought it would be. As any fule kno, I frigging hate modern cars with a passion, but given all my preconditions (stick shift etc.), I think the above may well be the best of the bunch. (I love the fact that of all of them, the Acura is the only one that does not come with an automatic option.)
Feel free, as always, to take issue with me in Comments.
News Roundup
So chug down that morning tipple, and let’s get on with it.
In The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:
...y’all want us just to kill him here, or do you want him back so you can have the pleasure? (offer not valid in states without the death penalty)
...it’s actually all a tragic mistake caused by a language problem. When he was told “Go get some from Five Guys”…
Then on to International News:
...wake up, old son: Biden has never been your ally, unlike Trump. And speaking of whom:
...I’m not so sure that the Stupid Party needs advice from this guy:
...but let’s keep “Trump” and “blowout” handy for later.
Some news from the Daily Woker:
...now if only they could concentrate on making decent beer...
Some Crime News:
...who do they think they are: the Secret Service?
...ya think? The real question is: why?
In the Business World:
...what; did all those government subsidies run out?
In Travel News:
...well, perhaps if you allowed them to drink booze; but noooo, it offends your fucking stupid guidebook or whatever.
In Parish News:
...yeah, bet he was surprised at being arrested for impersonating an influential Epstein client.
From the Medical Files:
…
And in the perpetually link-free 
And as we look at properties in 
:
...I bet she does. She always has that “JBF” look about her...
...or that “just about to be” look:
And that’s the end of the nipples news.
That List, Again
Faced with imminent risk of flooding over in Britishland, the Met Office has provided a helpful emergency list for those Brits at risk of same:
“Think about putting together an emergency flood kit with essential items that will help you cope in a flood, including: Insurance documents and list of contact numbers; torch and spare batteries; first-aid kit and any prescription medicines; warm waterproof clothes and blankets; bottled water and snacks; battery or wind-up radio and if it applies to you: supplies for looking after your baby or pet. Make sure that everyone knows where to find this kit and what to do if flooding happens.”
Of course, what isn’t mentioned is whether the flood risk involves home evacuation or simply being isolated at home (surrounded, say, by floodwaters).
I have a couple of grab ‘n go chests ready if I had to leave home, and they contain all the above along with more serious survival stuff, to be supplemented only with things I keep in the house, e.g. Rx meds, rain gear and of course my laptop computer (which contains all the documentation I need to run my life). And as long as I have sufficient gas in the car, the power inverter I keep inside it will provide all the power I’d need. Of take-along guns we will not speak, of course, but most Brits don’t have any of those, so their supplies are pretty much there for the taking by anyone (e.g. a criminal or police officer [some overlap] ) who can simply commandeer whatever they need.
As for staying in place at home, I think we could survive for about a month, maybe even two before being seriously inconvenienced.
In other words, I’m not too worried about the problem — unless the disaster strikes (as it usually does in Texas) during a severe winter storm, in which case things might be a little more tricky, but not insurmountable. As our apartment is on the ground floor and overlooks a large lawn, I could always park the car next to the patio railing and use the inverter for emergency power inside the apartment if necessary. (The complex has all sorts of rules about outdoor cooking on the patio etc., but in a SHTF situation I’d ignore pretty much everything that stood in my way anyway.)
Feel free to run over all the things you’d need to get through a catastrophe of the above nature. It’s a good mental exercise even if you believe you’re adequately prepared, and who knows, you might find that you have a few things to attend to, e.g. getting in some more batteries or non-perishable foods.
Disaster prep: if you don’t do it, you deserve everything that hits you.