I watched the last episode of The Grand Tour on Prime last night, and I loved it, but not just for the antics of the three buffoons themselves.
I have often stated that if I could choose an African country to live in (and assuming that it wasn’t a frigging death trap — I know, that’s a big condition), I would unreservedly choose Zimbabwe, and specifically eastern Zimbabwe.
To call it beautiful qualifies as the understatement of the year, because it is about as close to Eden as one could imagine: wonderful climate, interesting not to say spectacular scenery, and for some reason the locals are not the angry assholes so common in the rest of the country — perhaps because the place is so magnificent.
And if you watch One For The Road, you’ll see all that in the first quarter-hour of the show. Even the cynical Clarkson is impressed by the scenery. Once the trio climbs out of the semi-coastal zone, the countryside becomes the real Africa: dry, hard and inhospitable. But for that first hundred or so miles, as they leave the incomparable Nyangani district, is to witness Paradise.
My only regret is that they trio took the northerly route, through the festering cesspit of Harare (the capital) rather than via Bulwayo to the south, and the incredible Matopo Hills, en route to the Victoria Falls and, eventually, northern Botswana.
Anyway, I told you all that so I could play a familiar game. As it happened, the three Brits chose their cars according to only one criterion: which car would you like to take on that trip, under the condition that you’ve always wanted to own one, but never have. Clarkson chose the chronically-unreliable but wonderful Lancia Monte Carlo (!):
May picked the Triumph Stag (with its terrible Triumph engine rather than the more-reliable Rover V8):
…while Hammond picked a Ford Capri:
Unsurprisingly, all were cars of their youth: 1970s-era, at a time when young men dream of their ideal cars, but can’t afford to buy them.
So, gentle Readers, after you’ve watched the show and seen the terrain over which the three Top Gear / Grand Tour men had to drive, my question to you all is:
“What dream car of your youth would you choose for the trip?”
Assume that, like Clarkson et al., you’d have a support team accompanying you, so feel free to pick anything, no matter how apparently impractical.
My only condition is that like the Grand Tour team, you’d have to cover the 1,300-mile distance in only four days, as they did — and include a trip on a ferry down Lake Kariba, as they did. One’s normal choice of, say, an F40 Land Cruiser or Series 1 Land Rover would not be ideal, because you’d have to cane it on the tarred roads in order to make the deadline, and Land Cruisers / Rovers are not known for their ability to cane anything except your kidneys as they bounce all over the place.
No; in the spirit of One For The Road, you have to pick a dream sports car of your youth for your trip.
Feel free to indulge yourselves.
Now: I’ve closed Comments for this post, because you’ll need time to get to watch the show (which you need to do to get into the spirit of the game). Next Saturday (Sept 21), I’ll set up a post wherein everyone can state their choice for the trip.
:
