Fakery

In a post earlier on in the week, I said this:

I often wonder what car or cars I’d get to replace the Tiguan, and what’s interesting is that I’m having precisely the same feelings that I have with guns and watches: nothing of recent manufacture at all — especially given that all the cars without exception are loaded with electronic gizmos I don’t care for, or else gizmos that spy on you and/or could possibly be used to control your driving. In fact, the more I think about it, I’d probably have to go back to pre-1970s cars — fully resto-modded of course — to find a car that has not a single computer chip in its driving operation.

The problems with finding a fully resto-modded car are that firstly, nobody’s going to bother restoring your beloved ’82 Honda Civic or Toyota MR2 because sheesh it’s not worth the money.  Secondly, of course, is that the cars that are worth restoring were spendy to start off with (so just getting your clapped-out 60s model Whatever fixed up is going to cost you nearly as much as, say, a brand new 2025 Honda), and once you factor in the cost of restoring a Dino, the end price is stratospheric.

Think I’m joking?  Here’s one such example:

1972 Ferrari Dino 246GTS

And the price (linked):  $570,000

Look, I love me my Dinos, as any fule kno, but I draw the line at a car that was Ferrari’s “entry-level” model back in the day now costing as much as a brand new Ferrari.  As my buddy Patterson would say, “Fuck that for a bunch of assholes.”

However, there may be a couple ways around this little problem.  Let’s use the example of the late 1950s-era Porsche 356.

A properly-restored original 356 looks something like this:

1957 Porsche 356A

And the price (linked):  $325,000

LOL no way, Bubba.

But then there’s an alternative:

This one’s price (linked):  $69,500

“Wait a minute, Kim,”  I hear you say, “At that price, it’s not been restored, so it’s a clunker.”

Actually, it’s a hand-built… replica, with a new 2.3liter VW engine that provides a stonking 145hp (as opposed to the original 356’s 60hp).

“But it’s not a Porsche engine!”

Yeah, but those old 1950s Porsche powerboxes weren’t much to write home about, and to be perfectly frank, they actually sounded like VW engines anyway.  And the VW engine is less finicky and gets better fuel consumption.

And best of all, its VIN establishes it as a 1973 VW, not a Porsche, so your insurance payments would be… close to zero.

I know… $70k is still a chunk of change.  But it’s brand new, hand-built, modernized in all the right places (brakes, suspension etc.), and it looks exquisite (if you like that old Porsche 356 shape;  New Wife thinks it’s “ghastly” but I think it’s at least nicer-looking than the hunchbacked 911 which replaced it).

And there are plenty of cheaper options, with (probably) lower quality, but whatever.

Me?  I think I’d be quite happy to pootle around town in one of these.  No intrusive spying, no stupid electronics, no “convenience” features, and no airbags.

At my age, it might just be a worthwhile tradeoff.

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