Fakery

Drive Time, Old Fartism, Resistance

In a post earlier on in the week, I said this:

I often wonder what car or cars I’d get to replace the Tiguan, and what’s interesting is that I’m having precisely the same feelings that I have with guns and watches: nothing of recent manufacture at all — especially given that all the cars without exception are loaded with electronic gizmos I don’t care for, or else gizmos that spy on you and/or could possibly be used to control your driving. In fact, the more I think about it, I’d probably have to go back to pre-1970s cars — fully resto-modded of course — to find a car that has not a single computer chip in its driving operation.

The problems with finding a fully resto-modded car are that firstly, nobody’s going to bother restoring your beloved ’82 Honda Civic or Toyota MR2 because sheesh it’s not worth the money.  Secondly, of course, is that the cars that are worth restoring were spendy to start off with (so just getting your clapped-out 60s model Whatever fixed up is going to cost you nearly as much as, say, a brand new 2025 Honda), and once you factor in the cost of restoring a Dino, the end price is stratospheric.

Think I’m joking?  Here’s one such example:

1972 Ferrari Dino 246GTS

And the price (linked):  $570,000

Look, I love me my Dinos, as any fule kno, but I draw the line at a car that was Ferrari’s “entry-level” model back in the day now costing as much as a brand new Ferrari.  As my buddy Patterson would say, “Fuck that for a bunch of assholes.”

However, there may be a couple ways around this little problem.  Let’s use the example of the late 1950s-era Porsche 356.

A properly-restored original 356 looks something like this:

1957 Porsche 356A

And the price (linked):  $325,000

LOL no way, Bubba.

But then there’s an alternative:

This one’s price (linked):  $69,500

“Wait a minute, Kim,”  I hear you say, “At that price, it’s not been restored, so it’s a clunker.”

Actually, it’s a hand-built… replica, with a new 2.3liter VW engine that provides a stonking 145hp (as opposed to the original 356’s 60hp).

“But it’s not a Porsche engine!”

Yeah, but those old 1950s Porsche powerboxes weren’t much to write home about, and to be perfectly frank, they actually sounded like VW engines anyway.  And the VW engine is less finicky and gets better fuel consumption.

And best of all, its VIN establishes it as a 1973 VW, not a Porsche, so your insurance payments would be… close to zero.

I know… $70k is still a chunk of change.  But it’s brand new, hand-built, modernized in all the right places (brakes, suspension etc.), and it looks exquisite (if you like that old Porsche 356 shape;  New Wife thinks it’s “ghastly” but I think it’s at least nicer-looking than the hunchbacked 911 which replaced it).

And there are plenty of cheaper options, with (probably) lower quality, but whatever.

Me?  I think I’d be quite happy to pootle around town in one of these.  No intrusive spying, no stupid electronics, no “convenience” features, and no airbags.

At my age, it might just be a worthwhile tradeoff.

11 comments

  3. Is your vehicle (the Tiguan) in good shape? No major body issues like rust? No major mechanical issues, engine and transmission still good?

    If so, maybe invest 4 to 5 grand into the vehicle you have – this is average pricing if a reputable auto shop does the work:

    4 New tires – $ 1,000 bucks
    4 new brakes – $ 1,000 bucks
    Fluids (Brake, Steering, Coolant, Trans fluid) – $ 1,000 bucks
    Battery, serpentine belt, spark plugs, transfer case service – $ 1,000
    Detail inside and out – buff headlights to get rid of fading, – $ 500

    A refresh on your current ride might be all you need. You know it has been taken care of (by you) and if you put some maintenance into it, it could go another $ 100,000 miles.

    Many brand new cars today have tons of issues while the manufacturers work out the bugs on new technology like cylinder shut off systems (Honda VCM), turbo chargers (Toyota 3400 Twin turbo’s grenading) etc.

    Maybe fix your ride up and wait until the bugs are worked out of many new vehicles.

    And if you are set on a brand new vehicle, I can say two vehicles stand out to me

    My 2018 Toyota needed some work at the dealer – I got a 2024 Rav4 Hybrid NON plug in model, and it was a sweet ride. Lots of power, around 38 to 40 mpg fuel economy. Smooth.

    Also the 2024 Subaru Outback. Smooth, quiet. Plenty of space.

    Both vehicles are SUV’s like your Tiguan, and both are from reputable manufacturers.

    Good luck in whatever you choose, I hope you get a good vehicle. Sucks to end up in a lemon.
    Happy motoring!

    1. Actually Dean drove a 550 Spyder. Basically a factory Race Car. Completely different car. The Speedster in the Top photo is woth that much because of the careful documented history. Unfortunately it no longer has the 4Cam Carrera engine in it. That would have added at least $ 200,000 to the Price. … and the Joplin car is a coupe not a Cabriolet or a speedster. The speedster Body style ( not the same thing as a convertible know as a Cabriolet ) was a special US import only model that was made at the request of Max Hoffman the US Importer. It was supposed to be the low cost entry model car. It had a lower windscreen. The side window curtains insert into slots on the door. when combined with the erector set top that sort of attached to the windsceen they kept some of the weather out.

      As for the replica “speedster” they differ from the originals in that they have a fiberglass body instead of the orginal steel. ( or in the case of the Dean 550 – Hand formed aluminum ) .
      ohhh and you’ll probaly want to sit in one before you buy it. Even at your new trimmed down size, I’m pretty sure you would find it a tight fit with your eyes level with the top of the winscreen.

      1. …….. and you don’t have to worry about airbags because the biggest in a speedster is being sideswiped and crushed by the SUV or Truck that never saw you in that small car. You need to see one parked next to an SUV.

        1. Yes, I know that James Dean raced (and drove on the street) a 550, I have driven by the spot where it crashed several times going and coming from Laguna Seca. I was just relying on the “registry” data – the same as I did with the mention of Janis Joplin.
          But, who knows whether or not Dean, before acquiring the 550, had a Speedster (whether or not it was a “Carrera” model) – the Speedster was very popular in the Hollywood community when it came out.

  5. I have a 2018 Audi Q3 that I just did the 75k service. It still has the factory brake pads and has had nothing but scheduled maintenance. I will be disappointed if I don’t get over 200k miles out of it.

    I have a 74 Stingray convertible that has been in storage since 1979. I have $28k into it and will probably be putting another five or six grand into it. The Stingray is a resto-mod where I am doing some mods that were period correct and is about 75% done. The timeline will have it road ready in 3 to 4 months. The car has 47k miles on it.

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