And speaking of crossing water:
…
On to Silly News:
...okay, I got nothing.
More silly news:
...as long as we can also cancel Juneteenth, St. Patrick’s Day, Cinco de Mayo and MLK Day, I’m okay with this.
Some Election News:
...after the first three words, you just know that what follows will be absolute bullshit. And it is. Ditto this opening phrase:
...man, it must really suck to be a vegan environmentalist right now.
And from the Dept. of Health:
…
And not to be outdone:
...keyword: Canada. Let’s hear it for the planet of Euthanasia!
Some Lawn Order:
...nice to see that the Britcops have solved all other crimes Over There, so they can devote time and man/womanpower to tackle this pressing social problem.
...more proof that the Britcops have so little crime to investigate that their cops become crack addicts out of sheer boredom. And he’s not even French.
Over Here:
...am I the only one who thinks it’s a pity they stopped it?
Musicians Behaving Badly:
...P Diddy: the early years.
From the Dept. of Education:
...one would have thought that at that age, just the sight of her mimsy would have been sufficient; but evidently not.
And in thankfully link-free 
...four words: single mom, eleven kids.
And in keeping with today’s sponsor, some Good News:
...remember her? Here’s a reminder:
Now that we know who she is, here’s more of her:
Finally:
And that’s the bottom of the news.
Go Hokies!! Wonder what the story is behind that VT hat?!
“ man, it must really suck to be a vegan environmentalist right now.”
The last two words are redundant.