The Hollies once released a song called “King Midas In Reverse”, in which the hapless subject of the work was afflicted with the curse that unlike the mythical Midas (who turned everything he touched into gold), everything this guy touched turned to dust. (Compare and contrast this with, say, a Socialist politician, where everything he touches turns to shit.)
Anyway, the title of this post is not intended to be irreligious, of course, but as we all know, Christ is supposed to have turned water into wine at a marriage feast in Cana, Galilee.
It seems as though a brewer is intent on turning their own beer into water:
Beer drinkers are furious after pub favourite Grolsch decided to slash its alcohol content.
The Dutch Pilsner has dropped from 4% alcohol by volume (ABV) to 3.4% leaving fans of the beer disgruntled.
Before it was relaunched by the UK by brewer Asahi in 2020 the beer was sold at 5% ABV and has now seen a further reduction in alcohol content.
Back when I used to drink a lot of beer, Grolsch was one of my favorites, with that porcelain-topped cap a lovely touch of class. It tasted just plain wonderful, and to be frank, if I wasn’t planning on drinking heroically (Castle Lager in South Africa, Wadworths 6X in Britishland, Henry Weinhard Dark in Murka), I really didn’t mind paying the premium price for Grolsch.
But why would the brewers of Grolsch decide to water down their beer? Ah well, if this was not initiated by the Stupids in The Marketing Department, of course one would suspect the dirty little fingers of Gummint poking into our various orifices.
And that suspicion would be correct.
New legislation introduced last year means drinks are taxed based on their alcoholic strength.
Since the alcohol duty regime came into effect in August and brewers have been reducing alcohol content, while keeping prices the same.
While the reductions may appear small, they generate a tax saving of 2p to 3p on every bottle. [none of which has been passed on to the consumer — K.]
Among the popular brands where the alcohol content has been cut are Foster’s, Old Speckled Hen, Kronenbourg, and Hophead — the practice has been dubbed ‘drinkflation’.
Drinkdeflation, more like.
In these here United States, we used to refer to 3.2% beer as “squirrel piss”, so I suspect that 3.4% can’t be far off.
Good thing I don’t drink beer in any quantity anymore, or else I’d be getting angry.
One of the local breweries does a 0% beer; they brand it ‘Nanny State’.
Simply fortify the beer with a little vodka. In Seffrica that used to be called a submarine. Castle has gone far downhill since you last tasted it. It now tastes like a Sasol by-product and probably is. Lite beers are marketing genius. You have to drink twice as much to get a good buzz.
I call that the Obama Touch, when everything touched turns to shit
Regardless of what they put inside them, the swing-top bottles still are ideal for home brewers.
.
Pay the same or more for less quality. I don’t drink however it’s not just booze where quality is going down these days. “They don’t make em like they used to” is the most true and relevant phrase these days.
Okay, now they’ve stopped governing and started meddling.
You heard about Gen. Custer, right?
I looked up what kind of hops Grolsch used in their (formerly Premium Pilsner) and discovered that they used two types of Hallertau hops: Emerald and Magnum. According to Google’s Generative AI, “These hops give Grolsch its full-bodied flavor, green hop aroma, and crisp finish. Grolsch also uses pale Dutch malts to create deep malty flavors.”
I do want to know what they did to reduce the alcohol if they haven’t changed the hops and the malt. In the mid nineties dealcoholized wine was all the rage, particularly among women I did not want to associate with; including one that I mistakenly had as a GF for a while. It tasted like it had gone on a road trip through a chemical factory. If you had no taste buds, and only wanted to look like you were enjoying wine, I guess it was acceptable. Even then, I did not like drinking the fake stuff.
It’s time to call my various beer supplies sellers, and work on my own version.