17 comments

  1. Guess what I got you my darling? Hint: it’s hard, smooth and curved to the hand.
    No, it’s not my cock. Have a look.
    And that’s when the fight started.

  2. Edward is about to discover that there’s going to be only 1 thing sucking in his house next year.

  3. Ok – just a note here – she knows what she is about to see.. green dress, green vacuum? Why are there two freaking ‘u’s in vacuum? If I am quoting a single letter and speaking of more than one of them do I use a ‘”s’ or a ”s’? How TF do I quote a ‘ ? That’s what I love about programming – the syntax rules are easy – ‘x’ means the character x, “x” is a string containing the letter x – at least in ‘C’ – YMMV in other languages. Syntax is the fee you pay in Nevada when visiting a ho house. Yeah – I am about to take off the rest of the year so I have way too much time on my hands.. Retirement is going to drive me crazy in a few years.

    Oh – back to the green dress, green vacuum. Its gotta be from an old (50’s or 60’s) ad for a vacuum. Target audience is the babes (don’t talk about great grandma like that!). They know that she knows what’s coming and the ad guys know that they know. The clueless one in the this little circle is the husbands of the targets of this ad (grandpa – stop that!).. they don’t know sh*t. If you have ever seen one of these monster vacuums, you know what happened here.

  4. Brad explained to Mary that now that with this new Bissel dual action floor scrubber, she would never have to be on her knees again. Mary held him to his promise. Brad never was very good at seeing unintended consequences.

  6. Warren’s last official act before Elaine shoved that Kaywoodie up where the sun don’t shine.

  7. When you order a green-colored vibrator from Alibaba and it’s too late to replace what they sent.

  11. Going ‘all-out’ to accessorize her customized ‘Labor-Saving Device’, Madge tastefully wall-papered and hand-made her latest frock!
    .
    *****
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    In this cover for Labor-Saving Device Quarterly, we see a young couple enchanted by ‘blindfold fore-play’ prior to an invigorating ‘vacuum’ session!
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    *****
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    Only moments before the demonically-possessed ‘Labor-Saving Device’ performs its devastating ‘clean-up’, Madge and her ‘guess-who!’ suitor innocently re-create a scene from the block-buster horror-flick TALES FROM THE NATIVITY NÄÎVĒ!
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    *****
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    Assuming her preferred ‘kneeling’ position — and setting aside for a moment her secondary duties as Dish-Worsher and Tidy-Up Gal — Madge enjoys a quiet moment of meditative reflection prior to engaging her ‘vacuuming’ skills!

  12. Madge was juicily excited about her holiday ‘train’*… unfortunately, Lionel misunderstood and got her a little locomotive railroad set on tracks!
    .
    .
    footnotes:
    * Apparently, in some circles, the term ‘train’ refers to a gal ‘entertaining’ several fellows!
    Apparently, nudity is involved!
    And, apparently, everybody encourages the gleeful exchange of bodily fluids… sometimes simultaneously**!
    .
    footnotes to the footnotes:
    ** Apparently, this sort of behavior goes on YourPermanentRecord™!

  13. “Hey doc, how many ER personnel will it take to remove this from my butt?”
    “All of them, Dan. ALL of them.”

    And the pedant in me would be remiss if I didn’t clarify that the device in question is not a vacuum cleaner, but rather a floor polisher. My mum had one at home, and I was well versed its use as part of my after-school chores on rainy days.

  15. At her trial for bludgeoning her husband to death with a floor polisher, this picture was the first exhibit submitted into evidence by the defense.the Judge took one look at it and ruled “Case dismissed.”

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