Darwin Smiles

In the Heart Of Stone category comes this predictable outcome:

Lance Crosby wanted to be at one with nature, choosing to rely on his senses rather than carry bear spray or his mobile phone…

…and it goes without saying, “or a gun”, so:

…that decision was to cost him his life after he was eaten alive by a grizzly bear in Yellowstone National Park. The 260lb adult female bear, along with her cubs, feasted on the 63-year-old from Montana.

So he became “at one with nature” all right, by becoming bear nom-noms, kinda like berries.

I’m just amazed that being from Montana, he didn’t understand the situation vis-à-vis bears, but apparently he was a nurse from Billings (and not some hippie from Missoula, which would have been my bet).  And at 63, you’d have thought he had more sense, but he didn’t.

The worst part of all of this is that the rangers tracked down and captured the mama grizzly, tested her to see if she was the actual Lance-eater. And when they established that she was, they slaughtered her and sent her cubs off to a zoo.

So because of one moron’s starry-eyed stupidity, everyone came out of this sorry episode just fine and dandy.

Makes me want to find his grave, and pour a pint of gin over it.

After first passing it through my kidneys.