Ask And Ye Shall Receive

…and how.

Seems as though the city of Miami got sick of the annual Spring Break bacchanalia, and tossed it out, with the expected outcome:

After dropping a tongue-in-cheek video last year about “breaking up” with Spring Break, the city’s slapped on some serious restrictions. For the weekends of March 13-16 and March 20-23, they’re enforcing rules like curfews and bag checks.

Some liquor stores are shutting at 8pm, DUI checkpoints are in place and beach access has been restricted. Miami Beach’s Chief Wayne Jones put it bluntly: “We apologize, but this is necessary. I know it’s painful. Short term pain for long term gain.”

As a result, Spring Break’s taken a hit. Footage from Miami shows deserted beaches and glum party-goers who have found the once-heaving strip eerily quiet.

Some Spring Breakers who jetted off to Miami are now regretting their decision. On TikTok, a duo warned their followers with a blunt “don’t come”. They then declared: “Spring break ain’t the same in Miami no more.”

So what’s a party-hearty Spring Breaker to do?  Where to go?

Well… there’s always the old standby, Fort Lauderdale, who rolled out the red carpet:

Students who live for the party scene have found a new haven as Fort Lauderdale opens its arms wide to welcome them. The city is becoming the go-to spot, with Mayor Dean Trantalis declaring that “anyone” is invited to join the fun.

Mayor Trantalis explained: “We have a different vibe here in Fort Lauderdale versus Miami Beach. I think the mood is edgier in Miami Beach and honestly, I think the beach is sort of an afterthought when it comes to the reason for that destination. Most people are drawn to the party scenes.  Everyone under the sun is welcome. We appreciate everyone regardless of their background, their faith, their race, who they love, Fort Lauderdale is a place for everyone.”

What happened next?  Oh, say it ain’t so:

Spring Break brawl erupts on controversial beach

Would you look at that, it’s mid March and Spring Break is well underway for sun-seeking US college students. Great weather, booze and hundreds of wannabe party-goers all in the same place. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, just when police at the Florida city of Fort Lauderdale thought they’d seen it all after years of annual shenanigans, images from the beach this week may just be a first. You’d be forgiven for allowing American Pie to paint an idyllic Spring Break scene of lads throwing a ball around with a few tins of cold ones to pass the time during the day. At Fort Lauderdale this week, however, it was an altogether more violent sport drawing masses on masses of crowds – boxing.

And pandemonium ensued, so:

Police stormed the ruckus to pull the plug on proceedings. The city of Fort Lauderdale authorities responded to the violence with a statement: “Fort Lauderdale Police witnessed and broke up two incidents on the beach and the crowd complied both times without further issues. There have been no reported or confirmed cases of betting. This type of behavior will not be tolerated.

“Our police department is out along the beach in full force to make this spring break season safe and enjoyable for visitors and residents alike. We encourage anyone who witnesses a disturbance to call 911.”

Until April 12 in high-traffic beach areas, Fort Lauderdale has placed a blanket ban on alcohol, coolers, tents, tables and live or amplified music.

To Hizzoner Mayor Trantalis:  you asked for it;  you got it.  You said it’s “a place for everyone”;  well, not “everyone” is someone you want coming into your town, of course.

In the tags above, this post falls under “Morons & Idiots” — that’s the city of Fort Lauderdale management.  The “Train Smash Women”, of course…

Their dads must be so proud.