Spreading The Rot

There was an 80s movie once in which a high-school girl “passed” as a boy (no details, they’re unnecessary), and in getting ready for the role, she was asking her younger brother for advice on acting like a boy, leading to this classic exchange:

“You’ll need to scratch your balls every so often.”
“Why?”
“Because they itch, and you gotta scratch them.”
“Maybe I’ll just be a guy whose balls don’t itch.”
“All men’s balls itch.”

…and it’s true.  Now, thanks to some doctor bloke, we can perhaps see the reason why this is so:

Putting underpants on with bare feet could put millions at risk of a gruesome and embarrassing groin infection, a top doctor has warned. 

So-called ‘crotch rot’ is caused by the fungus, tinea corporis, commonly known as ringworm, and appears as scaly, itchy and sometimes red skin.

And according to Dr Samuel Choudhury, a GP who specialises in skincare, the infection often spreads to the genital area via the feet.  Dr Choudhury explained that underwear comes into contact with the fungal spores on the feet, and carries them up to the groin.

‘So this is what you need to do to avoid jock itch [crotch infection],’ he added.

‘Not wearing underwear is not the solution, but wearing your socks first is. It acts as a barrier so you contain the infection.’

I hate to say it, but this sounds quite plausible.  I mean sure, it may not be true — just as any article in the Daily Mail  generally isn’t — but it seems to be as good a reason for the Dreaded Itch as any other.  It doesn’t seem to matter even if I’ve just had a shower;  the old ‘nads always start itching at some point or another.

So are socks the solution?  Even when I used to wear a suit as a working man, my balls still itched, for reasons best known to themselves.

The only problem, as I see it, comes for men who are like me:  we only ever wear socks on high holy days and holidays, or when we put on winter- or cowboy boots.  Most of the time I’m either going barefoot around the house, or wearing moccasins without socks when I’m going out.  (Sheesh, I’m retired and I live in Texas — socks are just not part of the daily clothing requirements.)

For us Sockless Ones, is the answer then a lifetime doomed to frequent applications of Gold Bond powder?  Gawd, I hope not:  that stuff is horrible.

Readers of the Leech-Application persuasion may feel free to debate this in Comments, of course.