…a.k.a. Don’t Take A Rock To A Gun Fight.
The executive summary: Goblin attacks homeowner, follows him into his house carrying a rock, homeowner gets gun and provides a satisfactory ending for all concerned. Except for the deceased, that is, but we don’t care about him.
Not entirely apropos, but can’t resist the tangent. One of the more bizarre encounters I’ve had.
I had my property landscaped this summer, and they did a great job. Last day of the gig, Jacob (one of the landscapers) came in to use the bathroom, something I’d invited them to do. I was sitting at my laptop watching an old episode of FBI Files on youtube. Jacob recognized the episode & said “one of my favorites – those dudes were genius!” Dudes in question were a crew doing armored car stick ups in the 80s or 90s. “Looks like they’re gonna die in prison, doesn’t look like they were all that smart” I replied. Jacob waved that off, they just made some mistakes etc. He hit the head and went back out.
20 minutes later he comes back in, pulls up a chair and starts in on the mistakes they made, what he’d have done differently blah blah blah. A minute or two non stop. I cut him off & asked why are you telling me this? “Because it’s money for the taking if you’re smart.” I made it clear I’m not interested, and if someone lectures me about a crime they’re thinking about I might have to report it.
He stood bolt upright & his face turned bright red. He lifted up his shirt so I could see a semi auto in his waistband. “You don’t wanna fuck with me bro.”
“That’s right. I don’t wanna fuck with you Jacob, and I don’t want to be a criminal. Don’t bring it up with me & we’re golden.” He turned and went back out.
I grabbed the Detective Special I keep at that desk, locked the doors, liberated the Mossberg from its closet & called the cops.
Long story short, Jacob is a convicted felon and can’t have a gun, concealed or otherwise. Still l had it on him when the deputies arrived. He’s been sentenced to 5 years but could get out in half that time.
Many years back there was a particular family who were, shall we say, known to the local po-po. They’d hire themselves out to landscape companies that worked the ritzier neighborhoods because that gave them a really good opportunity to case the houses up close. Later, they’d come back and do a little B&E.
I’m always a on guard when I have work done at the casa. You never know.
This shooting happened in my Northern Virginia vicinity, about 2 miles from my house. There are no bad neighborhoods here in one of the richest counties in America, yet this is becoming an almost regular (if unpublicized) occurrence. In this case, the local gendarmes had been called twice on this perp: they let him go the first time and took so long to respond the second time, he’d unassed the AO before they got there. A not-unrelated fact is we have a county prosecutor who gives just about everyone a pass on any charges, no bail, community service for violent felonies and issues protection orders that are largely ignored by the perps and the LEO’s charged with enforcing them.
The perp who was DRT was an illegal from El Salvador who had drug and/or mental health problems. Didn’t matter to the LEO’s who let him go the first time and gave him time to disappear the second time. That homeowner took a beating, then had to dispense justice from his foyer, in front of his wife and kids. The local NextDoor.com (neighborhood online gossip column) is rife with comments from the AWFL’s (Affluent White Female Liberals) lamenting that the homeowner should have fired a warning shot or waited for the police. FTN. I can’t recommend the Mozambique Drill in cases like this, but I can applaud its use.
The free bus and Metro passes issued to the feral yutes in DC so they can “travel to work or look for jobs” has given them a direct line into the suburbs for a field trip of crime and mayhem. Smash and grabs at Tysons Corner Mall (think super upscale) and car jackings at the luxury dealerships in Arlington, Falls Church, etc are almost an everyday occurrence. Our cops, among the highest paid in the nation, are trained for motorcades and guarding highway construction, not dealing with a stolen car full of bangers or, case in point, a rogue landscaper huffed up on paint thinner and off his meds (social worker On Call was unavailable for comment).
Guns and ammo are flying off the shelves here. What few gun ranges that are around would be full 24/7/365 if the laws allowed. Word to the wise–never sell your last AK-47, they’re hard to replace these days.
Never sell ANY of your guns (except maybe my ‘orrible pa63). Lose them in a body of water maybe.
It’s not that we don’t care about the deceased, He’s now in a better place, turning his life around as a choir boy, something that he wasn’t able to do without the assistance of the homeowner who understandably took issue with unconsented-to asset redistribution motivated by lithopercussion. Everyone is better off now than before the deceased decided to try his hand at unlicensed income redistribution.