Here’s a way to deal with the Glue Movement — okay, first a little background from Reader Mike L.:
Coco Gauff’s U.S. Open semifinal victory over Karolina Muchova was delayed by 50 minutes because of a disruption by four environmental activists in the Arthur Ashe Stadium stands Thursday night. One protester glued his bare feet to the concrete floor.
My first reaction to this little reindeer game was to think: “If they’re glued to the floor, they can’t run away, can they?”
Which led to the following (perhaps unworthy) visual:
Oh sure, like I’m the only one who thought of that when reading the article…
I always wonder if the climate activists and go green idiots are huffing glue with some of the absolutely crazy bullshit they come up with.
How did these climate protesters get to the event? Bike? Vehicle? Train?
Was their glue purchased at a store they walked to? Or shipped 2 day via an online rE-tailer like SCAM-uh-zon which delivers via trucks to homes, businesses and lockers.
WTF. These activists that are pushing green are just crazy. Time to re open the nut houses and lock these fools up.
In the door pocket of my Blazer is an 18″ weighted fish billy that will be put to work if I encounter any of these fuckheads claim ownership over any road I travel.
I did my child rearing decades ago and have little tolerance for adults pretending to be whiney assed children at my expense.
A good crack on the side of the head does wonders in helping people learn how to get along with others.
They want to glue themselves to something ? Fine. When they do
LEAVE THEM THERE !
1) No food, no water, they can defecate, urinate on them selves.
2) Post a guard so that their ‘friends’ do NOT help them.
3) Make certain that whatever they are interfering with goes on as
scheduled or as close as possible.
4) DON’T let them die but make sure they THINK that just might happen.
GS is right. You are dealing with children whose rearing stopped at
about 6 or 7 years. Their remedial treatment should be swift and firm.
I have no patience for this type of behavior, especially when it is done
in the name of some other ignorant as well as false ‘goal’ !
I was thinking about some nice metal trash cans, like the 32 gallon size, but perhaps taller. Just lower them over the protesters for their own protection, and invite the spectators down to direct tennis balls at the metal cans. That should give some nice resonance, and perhaps they could be glued down like the protesters feet are. Punch some air holes, of course, No reason to treat them worse than guinea pigs or hamsters . . . that are interfering with the activities of others in such a public manner.
The whip idea would get you in trouble because the Open is in deep blue NY.
The above suggestions, while all good, would probably run afoul of some laws so it might be best to run plans past a lawyer.
Maybe the best we could do is plop a soundproof box over him while the event is still in progress and leave him in place. His friends could buy him food and drink from concession stands and try to get him loose after the event ends. Of course, the best solvents for the glue are all dangerous chemicals that can’t be brought into the venue and damaging the venue would also be forbidden. The security camera video of him in a pool if his own body waste being cut free by slicing off the bottom 0.1 mm of his feet by his friends would go viral and discourage imitators.
What CD said. Leave the POS for a couple days of muscle aches, back aches and finally fearful desperation, without food and water, in a pile of his own waste.
Then around the end of day two, give him a couple of scalpels.
Fine him for public defecation and littering before he leaves the venue.
That example will dampen his ilk’s enthusiasm for glue.
I figure I could make some money on the deal by running the Icy Bucket of Water concession stand. There are a lot of people out there who would pay $10 to douse one of those douche canoes.
It depends on where the foolish a-hole glued himself down. If it’s easy to walk around him, leave him there. But these types aim to put themselves where they will disrupt everything. So my suggestion is to handcuff them, wrap tow cables around them, and then treat them just the same as you would treat a car illegally parked in the way. Uh, not entirely – no need to drag them miles to the impound lot. Just get them unstuck (except for a layer of skin that can be ignored or scraped too thin to be a problem), drag them out of the way, and leave them there for their friends to deal with.