News Roundup

Let’s start off with some Food News:

...an overreaction to the milkshake machine breaking down yet again?  Also, keyword:  Liverpool.

And we’re not done with MickeyD yet:

...they should have taken the example of the above and all set themselves on fire.  Keyword:  Bristol.

And speaking of clueless idiots:

...life sucks, and then you realize just how much.  Nothing that a little military draft experience couldn’t fix — because that’s when you realize that as much as you think your life sucks, it can get far worse.

From Hogwarts News:

...my question is:  is this course offered by the Psychology or Economics department?

...wait, you mean astrology, chicken entrails, palm readings and tea leaves are all Fake Science now?

From the Let NYC Sink Dept.:

...Dr. Kim sez: take two spare mags, and call me in the morning.

In related news:

...will no one rid us of this meddlesome Nazi?  [/Henry II]

Still on the Glueball Jihate thing:

...I’ve always said that what the Islamist World needs is a whole more martyrs.  More like this, please.

And in Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© news:

...key word:  Sussex.  Wait:  Sussex county England, not Sussex county, Oklahoma?

In Dead Entertainer News:

Matthew Perry Dead By Drowning
...I forget:  he was the non-Schwimmer, right?

...wait:  Morgan Fairchild is 73???

...Great Aphrodite’s wrinkled thingy.

Some Sex Social Work News:

...no link because it’s all right there in the headline.

And in some equally-spicy INSIGNIFICA:

   
…just so she can sing about them in her next break-up song?

From Woman’s World:

...she’s not technically a gran as she’s only in her Fabulous Fifties, but whatever.
We’ve seen her on these pages before;  but not like this:

And speaking of women in their Fabulous Fifties, here’s a 51-year-old we all know and I lust after:

...yes, it’s a double feature of scantily-clad women today.  Whatever:

Yeah, I’d give her the old International Harvester any day.

And on that soulful note, we end our news.